Ex-Beard Missed Romance

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Mimi Rogers insists she is "happy" ex-husband Tom Cruise is marrying Katie Holmes.

If having a degree in philosophy has taught be anything, it's that being "happy" is not a good thing. Being happy is wonderful. Being "happy" leads to raised eyebrows and thoughts of brainwashing.

"He proposed to Kate while they were up the Eiffel Tower, but with me he didn't do anything dashing, like going down on one knee - it just happened."

He didn't even get down on one knee for Mimi? Well, we'll forgive him, he was new to this whole "sign the contract, be my beard" thing, I'm sure.