Enough Theories To Cover Our Asses.

If there is a bun in the oven (no peek of stomach, even with changing bump and boob size makes the fake theory more likely), and that's a huge "if," the lastest theory is....


...the baby was made with L. Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm.

Now, unless it's a way early birth, it won't be born on Mr. Hubbard birthday.

Having his sperm is weird, you say? They engrave his "works" on stainless steel tablets, and admit to it.

Freezing a little bit of his Man Juice seems tame in comparison.

And this supports the "Tom doesn't diddle the girls" theory. Also meshes well with "Ol'Tom's shootin' blanks."

Covers all the grounds, unless a very graphic and explicit Holmes Cruise (A Night In Kate?) sex video is unearthed, we're sticking by the No-Baby-Or_Not-His-Baby guns.

And they're pretty handsome guns.