Tom Versus The Hurricane

Dear Wilma,

The destruction you caused on the Yucatan coastline completely ruined my picture perfect shotgun wedding to faux pregnant child bride Kate. I was willing to pump money into the economy, thanks to Mexico's leniant stance on hypnosis and coercement into marriage.

Now, it looks like I will have to settle for International Waters, where I can be My OWN GOD. It's a dream of mine. Kate might get seasick, but hey, it will look like morning sickness, and people might still thing I stuck my man meat in her tainted axe wound.

In short, Wilma, don't even try to pull that catty bitch shirt with me, cause I ain't havin' any.

xoxo
Joe Tom