Save Dakota Fanning!

Friday, October 28, 2005

Tom Versus The Hurricane

Dear Wilma,

The destruction you caused on the Yucatan coastline completely ruined my picture perfect shotgun wedding to faux pregnant child bride Kate. I was willing to pump money into the economy, thanks to Mexico's leniant stance on hypnosis and coercement into marriage.

Now, it looks like I will have to settle for International Waters, where I can be My OWN GOD. It's a dream of mine. Kate might get seasick, but hey, it will look like morning sickness, and people might still thing I stuck my man meat in her tainted axe wound.

In short, Wilma, don't even try to pull that catty bitch shirt with me, cause I ain't havin' any.

Joe Tom


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