It Helps That He Can Call Her Joey
Disclaimer: This is pure opinion, and is not offered as the truth of the matter assurted, nor is it offered to sway any opinions the reader holds about anyone mentioned in this post.
Why I think Tom is Gay.
No it's not his oh so pretty hair or the fact that he walks like he had something in his butt the night before. I think he's gay because he tries so damn hard to be uber heterosexual. His bevy of babes that he always has to be touching in public, "must touch Katie, do not let go Tom, don't let go, someone might figure it out." His suing of any speculation and his need to act hyper aggressive when he's laughably not scary in any way possible. I mean, I could make him wet his pants.
Come on Tom, if you're straight stop being so insecure about your man hood you pansy. Anyway,if you are gay it's ok to go with it Tom. Everyone else knows already anyway.
Signed,
Pissed Off Gerbil
posted by Save Dakota Fanning! at
9:13 AM
3 Comments:
Well that's incredibly obvious. Why don't you talk about your theory about the moon orbiting the earth?
By
Anonymous, at 11:01 AM
This theory makes complete sense!! It never hit me before that he was gay, although something wasn't quite "right" about him, but after reading this it's like "AHA Of course!!!"
By
NeverEnough, at 7:11 AM
It has been said of Tom Cruise that he has litigated more than any other human being, alive or dead, to try to PROVE that he is hetero. Me thinks he doth protest too much.
Even the gays know he's gay.
By
Anonymous, at 9:21 AM
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