Short End Of The....Stick

Don't Forget To Ask Ellen Questions. The more she knows...

Tom Cruise Isn't Half The Woman Brooke Sheilds Is. And, she's not a douche. Unlike some people.

Flying Is Cruise's Favorite Stress Buster. Mine is knocking up vacant chicks.

Everyone Hates Tom. Insert Bomb Joke Here.

Katie Holmes is officially changing her name to Kate. Um, actually, since Katie is nickname, and her real name is Katherine, she's not officially doing anything, except being an idiot.

Anorexia Is Good For Breast Milk. Oh, wait, Scientologists don't believe in nursing.