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Friday, August 26, 2005

A Little Refresher Course In Scientology


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75 million years ago there was an evil galactic overlord named Xenu who ruled over 76 planets including earth (then called Teegeeack).

Due to overpopulation, Xenu decided to gather up the 13.5 trillion people on these planets and send them into volcanoes on earth off the Canary and Hawaiian Islands. He then dropped H-bombs and killed the people.

Xenu trapped the souls of these people in boxes and implanted them with a false reality. The confused souls with these false realities attached themselves in clusters to the last remaining people on Earth. Today we all hold about 2,000 alien souls that can only be released by a Scientologist with auditing sessions.


And then the description starts to get a little critical of the cult "religion," so we'll leave it at that. I mean, isn't the truth good enough?

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