Keeping You Abreast Of The Situation

We've heard from a few reliable sources that Tom Cruise is thinking of attempting to breastfeed Suri himself.

But, wait, doesn't Scientology encourage not breastfeeding? Well, if you actually read those passages (I wouldn't recommend it; for a crazy cult, the writings are actually way boring), breastfeeding is discouraged because it increases the bond of the mother and child without the father's participation.

The recent picture of Kate Holmes out and about make us wonder. How is it okay that she's breastfeeding.

So, we put our feelers out. And, Tom, right now, is simulating nursing using Kate's breast milk, to build a bond with the baby, but he's bee looking in to attempting to breastfeed himself, to truly bond with his first non-adopted child (rumor has it he's looking forward to at least two more kids, maybe hoping for a Son?).

Um, hello, GROSS. Tom Cruise is bad enough. Tom Cruise lactating? Is it even possible?

Actually, it's happened before. Not with Tom Cruise, but with other men. When a baby suckles at the breast, hormones are produced which cause milk production to increase. The more the baby sucks, the more milk is made. Your body responds to what the baby needs. If the baby steps up the amount of time it is spending at the breast, the body figures the baby is growing and needs more milk, so it makes more. As simple as that. All a man has to do to get his breasts to produce milk is to let the baby suck at them.

Feminist author Fiona Giles, author of Fresh Milk: The Secret Life of Breasts, claims that there are "obvious benefits" to male breastfeeding. While men have the biological ability to produce milk, she says, the time and effort necessary to induce lactation might be out of proportion to the miniscule amounts of milk actually produced--but for a man to hold a baby to his breast "would be extremely beneficial to both the parent and child."

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.