Save Dakota Fanning!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Writing Up Real Articles Is For Pussies

  • Tom Pretends Holmes Is First Mother Of His Children. Conner and Bella start cutting.
  • Tom Allows "Grandparents" Single Supervised Visit, but only if Jesus waits in the other room.
  • Bella True Scientology Mastermind. That, or she always wanted a sister close to her age.
  • Katie Holmes Abandons Baby, prefers company of fans. Baby left to cry with stranger/handler.
  • Ladies Love Cool J, Hate Cruise. Locking up teenage daughters seems like a better and better idea now.

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