Save Dakota Fanning!

Monday, July 25, 2005

It's Still Gross, Even If You Don't Have To Put Out

(Read Article Here - Free Reg. Req.)

[S]elf-proclaimed virgin Katie Holmes, 26, who is famously saving herself for fiance Tom Cruise, presumably unaware of the claims by Mrs Cruise No. 1, Mimi Rogers, to Playboy magazine that he prefers abstinence in order to maintain "the purity of his instrument."

He's respecting his cock.

And over a thousand 15 year olds breathe a sign of relief.

Of course, you still have to kiss him in public and endure his "hand clutch of death" (broken any figures yet?], but it's better than penetration.

I know it sounds almost tempting: He's rich, and (for the time being) famous. So, you get to enjoy your rise to fame, have a bit more spending cash, and don't have to feel his oiled up body sweat dripping on you while you try to choke back the vomit in your mouth.

But Dakota, you're not Katie Holmes. You don't need to cling to the coat tails of some nutjob putting you on display. You shine on your own, and don't you forget it.


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