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Thursday, August 04, 2005

15 Excuses For Katie's Behavior

(Read Article Here)

15 Reasons Katie Is All Grown Up, eh? Let's take a look at these reasons, shall we?

1. She won't bad-mouth her exes.

Her first two exes, Joshua Jackson and Chris Klein, seem like genuinely nice guys. And, if Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman have told us anything, Katie will have a legally binding contract where she's not allowed to say anything negative about Mr. Cruise or his lack of heterosexuality ever, for fear of lawsuit, disappearence, and death.

2. She doesn't care what anyone thinks about her relationship with Tom.

At first, this seems like a good, grown up thing to do. But, Katie, when he freaks out on you, yelling and crying and hitting things, because you wanted to talk to Nicole and didn't get a permission slip from him, um, maybe you should care.

5. She loves her claim to fame.

Dating an obsessive co-dependant is not a claim to fame dear. It's a cry for help.

9. She knows her own mind.

She can't recall how she met the love of her life, and has to be prompted to say she loves him, but sure, she knows her own mind.

14. She isn't focused on what she looks like.

Considering your droppy eyes, hammer toes, snaggle teeth and hideous half smile, this is a good thing.

15. She realizes the value of friends.

Especially ones appointed to her.

And in the side bar:
While she may never lead a "normal" life as Mrs. Tom Cruise, she is already off to a great start as a future stepmother to Tom's adopted kids with Nicole Kidman, Connor and Isabella. "The kids really like her and she seems to really like them," says an insider. As for the pair's baby prospects, insiders speculate that TomKat plan to have kids soon after they marry. They wouldn't discuss how many, so we turned to psychic medium and energy artist Lin Lauren for a heads-up.

"This is only the beginning for these two. They have the energy to go the distance and will probably have their babies in succession (at least two), biological. Tom will always be the one up front in career, but that's fine with Katie. This is a love match that can go the distance if given the chance."

The kids like her? Because they're in the same peer group.

And we all know they're going to adopt. He's been priming her, it's the hot Hollywood thing, and, well, I just don't want to picture them trying to have sex. Someone in that pairing is a virgin to hetero-sex, but we're not allowed to say which one.


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