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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

We've All Had Sores Like That....On Our SOULS!


Sure, we could be writing to you today about Katie's old-news mouth sores, B vitamins, and Scientology denying everything. But how is that news? "Crazy Theory Shot Down! Scientology A Sham!" Oh, wait, not that last part. That's just a little pipe dream, like Tom Cruise's love of women and Star Jones's marriage.

But that's not the point.

Have you ever made out with someone you didn't want to? Someone with two day stumble and a point to prove? Okay, so my post-make-out stubble burn has never looked so bad. But I liked kissing all those stubbled boys.

If I had kept my mouth closed and my mind on other things (dontvomitinhismouth dontvomitinhismouth), well, you wouldn't have seen the same pictures of me, because I'm not latching on to a psycho to be famous.

This silly little sores are not proof that KatieKate is being brainwashed by the good old folks at Scientology. We already have that. It's called her new "best friend" prompting her answers, the vacant expressions and rehearsed-sounding monologues about love, and do we need any actual further proof than her pretending to be with him? Come on, look at The New Tom Cruise. No one is that ... (crazy? he is. fixated on actually marrying the person you wanted to when you were five? Um, a lot of people would be inbred if that were true) ... where was I?

Oh, all this gross rotting flesh on her mouth only proves faux hot, faux heavy, actually closed mouth on her part, making out for the camera.

Sometimes, you play a beard, you get a beard.

Well, it's more like a 'stache.

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