Save Dakota Fanning!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Prison Art of katie Holmes

Friday, August 25, 2006

Heat Wave?

So, we've been having another heatwave in Cali. Not as bad as the last, but in the hundreds in the valley.

So, tell me, why oh why was Katie Holmes wearing TWEED?

Crazy. That's why.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Paramount to Hire Fanning

Word of Paramount dumping Cruise could have far-reaching implications.

They should give recently available monies to Dakota Fanning and let her make her own movies. Said movies will be titled "Movies Where I Scream Lots," "Movies Where I am Far Wiser Than The Adults," and "Movies Where I am In Danger," and "Movies Where I Befriend Retarded People and/or Animals." Occasionally, movies will be THE SAME MOVIE.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

BYE-BYE, Nutty Buddy! The Beginning of the End of Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise?

Paramount cuts ties with Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise
Chairman says Cruise’s ‘recent conduct has not been acceptable ’

• Paramount cans Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise
Aug. 22: Paramount Pictures ends it's 14-year relationship with Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise sighting his craziness. MSNBC's Rita Cosby gets the latest on this story from Tom O'Neil of In Touch Weekly and Courtney Hazlett from OK! magazine.


NEW YORK - It’s Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise vs. Sumner Redstone in a case of you’re fired-I quit at Hollywood’s highest level.

On one side is the chairman of Viacom, Inc., which owns Paramount Pictures.

On the other is the industry’s biggest and most bankable star, whose last seven films have each generated over $100 million.
Story continues below ↓ advertisement

Redstone said Tuesday that Paramount would sever its long and profitable relationship with Cruise/Wagner Productions, Cruise’s company with producing partner Paula Wagner. Redstone told the Wall Street Journal that Cruise’s “recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount.”

But Wagner told The Associated Press that agents for Cruise/Wagner Productions stopped negotiating with Paramount over a week ago and since secured independent financing, effectively taking any contract-renewal deal off the table.

“For some reason, Paramount has chosen to negotiate in the press,” Wagner said, calling Redstone’s announcement “surprising.”

“It’s not really the most businesslike approach,” she said. “We’ve had virtually no dealings with Mr. Redstone.”

Paramount referred all calls on the matter to Viacom. Viacom spokesman Carl Folta had no comment late Tuesday.

“As much as we like him personally,” Redstone is quoted as saying, “we thought it was wrong to renew his deal.” He then cited Cruise’s “recent conduct” as the reason.

In the past year or so, Cruise couch-hopped on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show while proclaiming his love for Katie "I'm as virginial as Britney Spears was when she was feigning innocence" Holmes, criticized the use of antidepressants and claimed that postpartum depression doesn’t exist. He also got into an angry exchange with Matt Lauer on the “Today” show while defending his opinions.


What do you think about Paramount dumping Cruise?

Cruise/Wagner Productions has been based on the Paramount lot since 1992.

“We viewed ourselves as partners with Paramount,” Wagner said, adding that the collaboration has produced $2.5 billion worth of business.

With “War of the Worlds” and “Mission: Impossible 3,” Cruise helped earn nearly $1 billion for Paramount this year alone, Wagner said. Cruise/Wagner Productions brought “M:I3” director J.J. Abrams to the studio, she said, which recently inked a five-year arrangement with Abrams.

She and Cruise had been considering independent financing for their company “for a long time,” she said.

“For us, this is a very new and exciting direction. We look forward to working with all the studios.”

Thursday, August 17, 2006

SUPER TOM -- not.

CALL us cynical, but is Tom Cruise really as heroic as his handlers like to claim?
The wacky superstar and fiancée Katie Holmes were widely reported to have pulled over when they saw an accident on L.A.'s 101 freeway last Saturday, and waited with motorist Jon Henningsen and his wife until police arrived at the scene.

But that was hardly the first time that Cruise has supposedly come to the rescue of some lucky civilian. According to various press reports over the years:

* In 2003, while filming "The Last Samurai" in New Zealand, Cruise supposedly helped a local family change a flat tire on a country road and assisted a young girl in catching her runaway horse. He also donated $3,800 to a local school that needed a "sun shelter."

* In 1998, Cruise rushed to the defense of a woman being mugged on a London street and stopped thieves from making off with more than $150,000 in jewelry.

* In 1996, he summoned an ambulance to help an aspiring actress who was the victim of a hit-and-run, then paid her $7,000 emergency room bill.

* While he and then-wife Nicole Kidman were vacationing on a 210-foot yacht in Capri in 1993, they were reported to have come to the aid of a family whose yacht had caught on fire. Cruise and Kidman allegedly rescued the family from their life raft and took them aboard their luxury yacht until help arrived.

* That same year, Cruise was said to have pulled two young boys to safety after they were almost crushed in a mob of out-of-control fans at the London premiere of "Mission: Impossible."

Cruise's representative, Paul Bloch - who took the reins from his publi-sister, LeeAnn Devett, several months ago - told Page Six: "I don't know about the rest of them, but the one on Saturday night actually happened. The others happened before I represented him."

Pat Kingsley, who represented the superstar for much of his career, up until two years ago, said, "I have made it a policy not to talk about [Cruise]."


Hey, look, Penelope Cruz lost all her fashion sense:

Oh, no wait, that's Queen of Fug Katie Holmes, ditching her 4 month old "baby" with randomly scientology handlers, as usual so she can go frolicking about, jetsetting.

Has she spent *any* time with that damn pillow baby?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

CooCoo for TommyPuffs

Kate Holmes made a rare public appearance on Sunday at an In Style magazine girls-only party held at the home of a Hollywood producer.

"Katie looked dead in the eyes," one partygoer tells exclusively. "She was not the same person she was before she met Tom."

The soiree was a gathering of some of the industry's most influential women, and there was a strict rule along with the invite. "You weren't allowed to bring a guest with you," another partygoer tells us. "However, Katie brought a guest. One of her Scientology 'handlers.' She was the only one that didn't come alone. Katie's minder kept a watchful eye and a close distance at all times. It was so creepy! You couldn't really talk to her honestly and openly. Whenever Katie would leave the room, all the girls would talk amongst themselves about how strange she seemed and how bizarre the whole situation was."

Does anyone else think this whole thing is a little Rosemary's Baby-esque???

Tom Went Homo For Joe

The late Yankee slugger Joe DiMaggio was once stalked by Tom Cruise.

"He'd show up at baseball-signing shows and wait for Joe to come out," says the source.

"One time, he waited outside a restaurant for him for three hours. [DiMaggio] called him 'a short little guy.' He didn't like it. He felt like he was stalking him."

Cruise's spokesman didn't respond by deadline. And in fairness to Cruise, who J.J. Abrams said would come to his house alone on his motorcycle at midnight to convince him to direct "Mission: Impossible III," the actor could have been pursuing DiMaggio to try getting the rights to his story. But Joltin' Joe, who died in 1999 at 84, felt there was madness in his method.

"Joe said to me, 'This guy is following me around everywhere I go,'" says our spy. "'Next time, I'm going to call the cops.'"

Monday, August 14, 2006

Does The Pope Shirt In The Wood?

CR-Shirts, home of the famous "Cult For The Stars" shirt:

has a few other appropriate shirts for Katie, Suri, and Tom.

For Katie:

For Tom:
Just because you have a "baby" doesn't mean you can't fly all over the world all the time without a baby in sight!

For Suri:

All shirts are available here.

Another "Siting"

Notice how all descriptions of "Suri Cruise" say the exact same thing:

1. She's a beautiful baby.
2. She has a head full of black hair (who the fuck talks like that?)
3. She looks like Tom & Katie.

They all use virtually the same phrasing. Isn't that something?

Also, "She had no deformities that I could see!" or, totally normal, not ugly baby!

Curiouser and curiouser.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Or, a delicious ham.

Mmmmmm. Looks like an Easter Ham to me.


Chicken Bone Girl "Meets" Delicious Baby

It's a good thing Posh Spice refuses to eat anything other than hydrogen atoms and pubic hair, because she met the deliciously scrumptious "Baby Suri," who survived fully intact. Reports claim that, as soon as Death Face Posh entered the room, Suri screamed until she was silenced by her twin brother a pillow, because children are seen and feasted upon, not heard.

"Apparently they can't take any photographic equipment, they're banned from touching Suri and they're not allowed to do any baby-talk around her."

SO many things to say...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

My Thoughts Exactly

Tom Cruise Is A BlockHead

A Note From Our Office

If you vote for me in the Bad Boss Contest, I promise to use my free vacation to stalk TomKat and throw pieces of dead rabbit at them whenever they emerge in public.

So, please go here and click on the red "vote" box on the top right. That's all I ask of you.

And keep fighting the good fight.

Vanity Fair Plans To SHOW US THE BABY

A report in Page Six this morning goes as follows: 'Suri Cruise's days of being a mys tery baby some be lieve doesn't really exist are about up. Sources say Vanity Fair has landed the first photos of the care fully guarded tot spawned by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes last April. The pictures were taken by celebrity snapper Annie Leibovitz and will be published this fall, spies say. Both Vanity Fair and Cruise's reps had no comment.'

Only the couple's closest family members and a handful of celebrities have been introduced to Suri.

'Matrix' actress Jada Pinkett Smith - who is a member of the Church of Scientology like Tom - recently revealed she has visited "gorgeous" Suri twice and says she takes after her Hollywood star dad.

'Kings of Queens' actress Leah Remini - another Scientologist - also said she had seen the "beautiful" tot and described Tom and his fiancée Katie as "great parents".


If a photo exists, it will be leaked. If there's no leak? Stock baby footage.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Suri Cruise: The Loch Ness Monster of babydom
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are releasing pics of their daughter “shortly,” a spokesman insists.

The whereabouts of baby Suri has become so hotly debated that some wags are calling Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ child the Loch Ness Monster of the celeb world: some are claiming to have seen her, while others insist she's just a myth.

One rumor is that protective pop Top Gun is reluctant to trot out the child because he’s worried about kidnapping threats. His spokesman denies that buzz — and even denies that Cruise is “reluctant” to show Suri.

“He hasn’t been reluctant,” spokesman Arnold Robinson tells the Scoop. “They will be making a decision to release the photographs [of Suri] shortly.” Will the pics be released to a single or few media outlets, or will it be a general release? “That’s part of the decision they’ll be making shortly,” he said.

(from here)

Worldwide Premiere of the First Video of Suri Holmes-Cruise

Straight from MSNBC's Keith Olbermann!!

Oh, wait.

From Trent:

Click HERE to see the not-at-all-funny video footage for yourself. Actually, I wouldn't have been surprised at all if they had shown "actual footage of Suri" because it's been so long since the "baby" was "born" that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes could pretty much pass off any baby they may have procured on the sly as their own. I fully expect that we will see Suri Holmes-Cruise at some point (maybe very soon) but I don't think I'll ever believe she was borne naturally from the loins of TomKat.

As usual, I totally agree with Trent on this one.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Something Is Going Down (Not In A Gay Way)

(totally stolen all the way from trent)
Walter seems to believe that this shindig might be little Suri Holmes-Cruise's coming out party but other celeb watchers tend to believe that the Scientologists are getting ready to throw the a wedding ceremony for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (if Katie ever had a chance to run for her life she better take it now). Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if these fine folks were getting ready to greet the Mothership ... perhaps it is on its way from planet XELNOR with instructions from lord XENU to drop off little Suri so that we can all finally get a good look at her. The only way I'd believe Tom Cruise fathered a child would be if I saw it come off the spaceship with my own eyes ... and even then, you know it'd be an adoption. Whatever the case may be, something is about to go down amongst the Scientologists ... and so we wait.

from here.

The Un-Funny Truth About Scientology


Warning: There are some graphic images (police photos), and I'm kind of at a loss of how to make fun of it. It actually is unfunny. But interesting. And, well, disturbing.


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

$100,000 Prize For Proof Of Suri


Where is Suri Cruise-Holmes (or is it Holmes-Cruise?)? We want to know.

We are giving away $100,000 to anyone who can prove, once and for all, the existence of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ child, Suri. There’s a lot of hype around this M.I.A. celebrity baby, including the just-released birth certificate, but no one has laid eyes on her yet!

So, we are giving $100,000 to anyone who can give us the first, exclusive, original, clear video of baby Suri with her mom or dad! Professional papparazzis, photojournalists and YOU now have the same chance of making the big bucks (and getting massive exposure) through

So grab your camera and start shooting. But, do it legally and safely. We at do not solicit nor do we condone illegal or dangerous acts under any circumstances. We urge all participants in this contest to obey all laws and to avoid harm to anyone, whether to themselves, Mr. Cruise, Ms. Holmes, their child, or anyone around them.