You Cruise, You Lose

(Read Article Here)

Actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be placing their unborn child at risk if they are performing fetal ultrasound on Ms. Holmes with no medical supervision and, if so, should not, in any way, view their fetal keepsake ultrasound images as a substitute for appropriate medical attention. Use of such medical equipment by unlicensed individuals may also be a violation of federal law.

The American College of Radiology (ACR) fully supports the views of the US Food and Drug Administration that fetal ultrasound be performed only for medical purposes, by certified technologists, with a prescription from an appropriately licensed provider.

But, you can't harm a pillow.

Dear L.Ron, please let me reach OTVIII so I can fly around and mind meld and speak to the politician who is you reincarnated.

Dear anyone, please please notice the dead look in my eyes, the subtle way I shake my head "no" when I speak of this "love," and please help me, free me, save me

Cruise Makes Holmes Fugly

(Read Article Here)

Holmes shows up on Go Fug Yourself, thanks to Tom's watchful eye and a potential bathroom.

...can you blame her for not even trying any more? At best, she looks exhausted. At worst, little Joey Potter appears hopelessly resigned to her fate as Crazy Tom Cruise's Zombie Bride. I never thought I'd say this, but she'd be so much better off with the Beek.

You Can't Handle The Diaper!

(Read Article Here)

Tom Cruise says he can't wait for his new baby to be born - so he can start changing nappies.

The Hollywood heavyweight, whose fiancée Katie Holmes is pregnant with their first child together, admits he is really excited about the birth and is determined to be a hands-on dad.

(Besides, if Katie was allowed to throw the diapers away, she might make a run for it)

Mini Cruise Already Begging For An Oscar

(Read Article Here)

Katie Holmes has revealed the sex of her child after being spotted buying up big on blue baby clothes in LA recently.

Onlookers say the actress was shopping up a storm for her unborn son at the trendy Beverly Hills store Petit Bateau. Friends have reportedly confirmed the news, adding that Tom and Katie have already decided to call their baby boy William Oscar.

Oscar, eh? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Bastard Child, Sucky Tipper

(Read Article Here)

Tipper's Name: Tom Cruise
Where it happened: New York
Total bill/Tip amount/Percentage: $458.63/$5.00/ 1%
What happened?
Tom and Katie Holmes were absolutely rude as anything I've ever seen!

Thank you, bitterwaitress.com.

theories

And, since Nick and Jess are officially broken up, I wonder what TomKat will do next? I mean, the mere rumors of a breakup sent TomKat to the prosthetic belly store. Immaculate conception? 24-7 sonogram-cam? Cruise shows us he can flap his wings and fly?

All The Cruise That's Fit To Spit

Let's quickly catch up on SaveDakota news, as I am in the cold MN for the week, and behind the times, personal business and all. Anyway, all the Cruise That's Fit To Spit:

-Tom and Katie are postponing the wedding. Well, the father's already a bastard. The kid should be, too, right?

-Cruise buys ultrasound machine to see inside pillow.

-Tom squashes idea of silent birth. It's just supposed to be calm and quiet to pop a watermelon out of a lemon. "I want Katie to be as comfortable as possible." Then let the damn woman run away scream.

-Tom believes blood is thicker than adoption. Sure, he won't say as much, but rumor has it he's postponing the wedding because he wants his first biological child to be part of the wedding. Because his first biological child is that important. Handling that well, aren't you Tom?

-Katie looks like a zombie, and the lump hasn't grown for about a month. Well, it shrunk a few times. Hmmmmm. Elastic Baby?

Looks Like Somebody Forgot To Put In Her Big Girl Belly Again

Cruise Buys HOlmes a Plane

So she can never run away in an airport again.

Read Article Here)

The sky's the limit when it comes to showing how much you love a woman, and Hollywood superstar, Tom Cruise is reportedly all set to prove it to fiance Katie Holmes, by buying her a 20 million pound customised Gulfstream jet as a wedding present.

According to an insider, the "Mission Impossible" star apparently wanted to get the lady of his dreams a wedding gift that would even top the huge diamond ring he bought her as an engagement ring.

"Tom wanted to come up with the most amazing wedding gift ever, something that would make her life so much better than a big diamond on her finger," Contactmusic quoted the insider, as saying. Though the date of the wedding is not being revealed, Hollywood watchers say that it will most probably take place before Katie gives birth to the couple's first child next year. This would be Katie's first and Tom's third trip down the aisle.

THE PILLOW HAS DROPPED

Okay, so it's a rumor, right? That Holmes is in the hospital right now, that she miscarried (or, this far along, still birthed)

I'll keep you posted.

This was on http://dlisted.blogspot.com/ and http://www.celebrity-babies.com/

We've Been Saying It Since The "News" Broke

(Read Article here)

A published report says that Brooke, now pregnant with her second child, is concerned for Katie now that she is preggo with Tom's baby.

Life & Style first cites an interview that Brooke did on ABC's "The View" where she was asked what kind of a gift Brooke was to give Katie and Tom once their baby was born.

The reports then states that Shields wrapped her arms around her waist (mimicking a straightjacket) and Brooke reportedly said "I'll get (Tom) this.

Ouch!

But later that day when Brooke was a presenter at Glamour's 'Women of the Year' awards, the magazine reports that she told a pal:

"I'll be fine, but I'd be more worried about Katie if I was Tom."

Shields then explained that she really hoped that Katie Holmes didn't have to suffer with post-partum depression as "that would be really sad," according to the report.

fake plastic belly

This would be Tom Cruise's favorite website. If he didn't already have a Holmes Dress Up Doll.

Look, it even comes with a giant ugly pancho to hide her "belly"!

Like She Needs More Bad Buzz.

(Read Article Here)



Negative Vibrations: A hummer in a theater? No, we're not talking about that old Alanis Morissette tune. According to the National Enquirer, this hummer was an annoying sound emanating from Katie Holmes in a Santa Monica movie palace. Patrons were annoyed, and a manager arrived to put Katie in the spotlight. Well, his flashlight. Katie's Scientology minder, Jessica Rodriguez, was reportedly on hand to explain that her charge was wearing an electronic transmitter intended to create a soothing environment for TomKat's unborn TomKitten. The theater manager was more interested in soothing his customers. He demanded Katie unplug the prenatal vibrator or, well, go Holmes. She did the latter. Talk about creating bad buzz!

It's Not Hitler, But It Will Do

So, I have a game I sometimes like to play. When I'm feeling all contrary, if someone expresses an opinion or action, my response will be "you know who else ________? Hitler."

Well, Hitler doesn't work, since he wasn't all into scientology. But, you know who was? Charles Manson.

A cell partner turned me on to Scientology. With him and another guy I got pretty heavy into Dianetics and Scientology. Through this and by other studies, I came out of my state of depression. I was understanding myself better, had a positive outlook on life, and knew how to direct my energies to each day and each task. -- Manson: In His Own Words

Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmm, Tom. Hmmmmmmm.

HIDE THAT PILLOW

Holmes was recently seen carrying as many bags as she could in front of her fake baby belly. Hmmmmmm.

You should be DAMN nervous

Sources close to the Homles family reveal that Katie, 25, is fearing that she doesn't have what it takes to deliver a silent birth.
"As the delivery date gets closer and closer, Katie is worried she will disappoint Tom and herself and not be able to pull through it silently, " she says. "Katie is being taught that the experience is painless and an enlightening one, but she knows better."
The Scientology silent-birth doctrine holds that children should be delivered in an atmosphere of total quiet, without any groans, screams, or sounds of pain from the mother, or even the audible exchange of information among hospital personnel.
Although outwardly cheerful and glowing, Katie appears to be suffering from a great deal of anxiety privately. "We are worried about her. Her parents have played a role so far, but they will not be there in the delivery room," the sources reveals.

from here

Tom Cruise Makes The Baby Jesus Cry

Yes. Miss Fanning Is The Baby Jesus.

It's called consistancy

Katie's latest outing. Looking less pregnant than last outing. Her fake belly people should SO be fired.

Let's take a closer look

There is no way a baby lives there.

BUMPity

Look at the top right hand picture.

That bump does NOT look real.

(shout out to Pink Is The New Blog, where I stole the photo)

Hannah Fannah

(Read Article here)

She's worked with some of the most famous adult actors in the business, including Sean Penn, Brittany Murphy and, of course, Tom Cruise, who gave her a cell phone for her 11th birthday in February.

Is Cruise her favorite? "They are all my favorite," says Fanning, who adds that working with so many great people is one of the best parts of her job.

It's clear the actors are big fans of Fanning, too. She told us that Cruise gave her a computer as a gift when they wrapped the filming of "War of the Worlds."

First a cell phone, then a computer? Someone's trying to keep track of our little Hannah Fannah.

Why am I calling her that? Her real name is Hannah Dakota. Why does she go by Dakota? Because Hannah Fannah sounds silly, that's why.

I can't believe it. Cell phone (may we remind you, her parents didn't feel she needed one yet, and wouldn't get her one) and a computer (pornographic what?).

Cruise, you're a sick sick man.

Thankfully, after the closing of Dreamer, Russell gave her a horse so she could get away from Cruise fast.

Holmes Quits Acting for Money. Errr, For Fake Baby

(Read Article Here)

Katie Holmes is quitting her acting career to become a full-time mother.

The Batman Begins star doesn't want to miss out on the upbringing of the child she is expecting with Tom Cruise early next year.

"Katie has decided to give up acting altogether," a friend told The Sun. "She's been telling friends that she and Tom have decided it is best she stays at home and brings up their new baby.

"Her decision is raising a lot of eyebrows in Hollywood. She is at the perfect age for so many screen roles and has completely closed the door on a promising career."

Eh. Not newsworthy enough to boost DVD sales. Try losing the baby, Katie. That will work.

Sources Say Holmes Puts Out On First Date

(Read Article Here)

A few days after their first meeting, an insider says, Tom arrived at Katie's Hollywood home in a stretch limo filled with flowers, chocolate - and a copy of the Scientology handbook! The pair then drove to a hangar at the Santa Monica, Calif., airport, where one of Tom's private jets was parked. The couple boarded the plane, but instead of flying off, the insider says, they enjoyed a lavish dinner at an onboard table set for two. Says the insider: "It was like a fantasy for Katie."

"By the end of the date, she was sold," says the source. "I hear she and Tom spent the night together."

Cheap slut.

War Of The Worlds Comes To DVD

Remember when the movie opened? Remember those couch jumping facial sores days? When each hour had a new photo/crazy stunt/shocking revealation?

And now what? Well, the "pregnancy."

But, the movie is coming out on DVD. What crazy stunt wil Cruise use to boost sales? Will the "baby" be "lost"? Will the smaller prosthetic belly be put up on ebay? Will Katie be caught using nyQuil? Will Cruise's super human powers be revealed?

Save...Oprah?

(Read Article Here)



The public, and certainly the comedians, were amazed when Tom Cruise bounced on Oprah Winfrey's couch proclaiming his love for Katie Holmes, but the talk show queen told "Good Morning America" she had no idea what was going on at the time.

"It was wilder than it was appearing to me," Winfrey said. "I was just trying to maintain the truth for myself because I couldn't figure out what was going on. And what I was prepared for was the dance that happens when you're doing celebrities — when you know they're not going to tell you, but you're going to ask anyway, and then you try asking another way."

Instead of the "dance," Winfrey was confronted with an Irish jig on top of her furniture.

"I was not buying — not buying or not buying," Winfrey said of Cruise's declarations of love. "That's why I kept saying to 'you're gone, you're really gone.'"

Public Bump Showing

(Read Article Here)

Katie Holmes is certainly getting in some practice for being a mother.

The 26-year-old pregnant star has been bonding with Tom Cruise's two adopted children.

The Batman Begins actress has, of late, spent plenty of time being a soccer mom, cheering on Tom and Nicole Kidman's adopted daughter, Isabella, from the sidelines.

On her most recent outing, Katie was wearing a big white shirt to cover her growing bump.

But she'd clearly got to grips with the rules of the game as she sat with Tom and his adopted son Connor.

Sitting as close to Tom as their chairs would allow, Katie was all smiles as she cheered and clapped - often up on her feet with sheer excitement.

Hmmmm, her stomach looks a lot smaller, but her tits lok a lot bigger. Her prosthetician must be boozin it up or something.

No News Yet Today, So Instead We Reiterate Our Cause

No One Has Actually SEEN Her Belly

(Read Article Here)


But her prosthetic bump continues to "grow."

Or something.

Dr. Arthur Wisot, the Beverly Hills fertility specialist that reportedly accurately predicted the due dates of both Courteney Cox and Julia Roberts estimated for Us Weekly that Katie would now be five and a half to six months pregnant,

He predicts a Katie Holmes baby in Mid-March.

It's like that milk ad

This may date me (and I never thought I'd say that, until I found myself dressed as Monica Seles one Halloween trying to explain to numerous drunk college kids that I was NOT a stabbed cheerleader with a tennis racket. But I digress.)

Do anyone remember the milk ad about the guy in "Heaven" with all the cookies he can eat, and thousands of empty cartons of milk? Remember the beginning, where he's on the phone, walking down the street? He says "something something mom, you're fired!" and BAM, hit by a bus.

(Read Article Here)

Where's our bus?

things that go bump in the night.

Dear Katie,

Those glasses make you look less like Jackie O and more like Ashley O.

Ps: it looks like your bump shrunk. You may want to talk to your wardrobe people about putting in the old "bump."

It's Monday Morning, Do You Know Where Your Tom Cruise News Is?

Neither do we.

Katie must be getting fitted for a larger plastic belly.

Nobody is taking you seriously, sweety.

And, Dakota Fanning is continuing to rule the school. Yay dakota!

I Hope Your Fall Out A Window

(Read Article Here)

Cruise is doing his own stunts, some say, in MI:III.

I hope he falls out a window.

A Duet....OF DEATH

(Read Article Here)

At one point during the $350-a-plate dinner, singer Isaac Hayes, a fellow Scientologist, called Cruise, 43, and Holmes, 26, to the stage, where they belted out rock standards with the band. On their song list? "Mustang Sally" and "Old Time Rock and Roll," which Cruise famously sang in his underwear in 1983's Risky Business.

Losers.

prenup?

(Read Article Here)

Will Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a prenup?

Sources say they will, and according to one report, that’s why Cruise and his preggers fiancée are taking so long to get hitched. Holmes’s father, Martin, is a lawyer and is representing his daughter in the negotiations, reports the upcoming issue of The Star.

Martin Holmes “is playing hardball with the prenup negotiations,” according to the tab, which quotes a source as saying that Holmes wants to make sure that his daughter will receive “a lump sum payment in the millions if the marriage should dissolve before the five-year mark.”

Didn't she already sign that contract?

And, if this is true, Martin Holmes is my newest hero.

Be Crazy And Asian, Meet Tom Cruise

(Read Article Here)

October 13, 2005, Cruise invited this courageous girl from China to the movie set of Mission Impossible III. “Once again, it proved that miracle does exist,” Niki says, “You follow your dream, and put all your heart into it, someday it will come true, my meeting with Cruise is a great example. People say you can’t do this and do that because…don’t listen to them! A lot people say 'Niki, Tom Cruise would never want to meet you!' See what happened. You got to listen to your own guidance. I would not allow anyone or anything to define my own ability. I can do anything and everything I choose to. Anything is possible. The unlimited possibilities are out there, you just have to believe it.”


Blah blah blah.