Save Dakota Fanning!

Sunday, July 31, 2005

everyone hates you

No weekend updates. Wanna know why?

No one gives a SHIT about Tom Cruise anymore.

Except us.

I watched "Uptown Girl," this weekend, which co-stared Dakota Fanning.

It bit the BIG ONE. Dakota, please, don't make shitty movies anymore, okay?

Tom Cruise? You blow, everyone hates you, but not enough to actually care.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Dakota, Don't Be His "Beau"!

Big Brother 6's houseguest Beau, reveals a shocking "coincidence" in his bio (read bio here).

Actors: Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise

Actresses: Dakota Fanning, Gwyneth Paltrow

Remember, in Hollywood, there are no coincidences.

With that last sentence in mind: Beau is gay.

Things that make you go "hmmmmmm......"

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Another Casualty of TomKat's Unrepentant Love

Read at's PrivacyWatch:

... [t]hen, there’s our favorite high-foreheaded star of seasons past, Dawson himself, James van der Beek. At the Canoga Park Costco, hiding under a hat and a scraggly beard, stocking up on many bottles of Veuve Clicquot and Ketel One. I’d like to say it looked like he was planning a party, but I’d rather imagine him at home, watching Katie and Tom rolling all over each other on The Insider while drinking himself into a stupor, muttering, "Joey, my Joey," over and over again.

Remember, Dakota: When you say "YES!" to Cruise, you don't only hurt yourself ... you hurt all of the fictional, rumored, and former loves that have ever yearned or pretended to yearn for you. IS IT WORTH IT?!

Pre-Cruise Fanning Doing Better Than Post-Cruise Kidman

(Read Article Here)

At 11 years old, Dakota Fanning is arguably the most powerful actor in Hollywood. Since 2001, her movies have grossed nearly $650 million. That's more than Julia Roberts ($585.6 million) and Nicole Kidman ($496.9 million). Fanning already makes $3 million a picture.

You did this on your own, young Fanning. You did not need Cruise to launch your career. You wouldn't be another B-list rising to fame through heightened publicity.

If anything, he'll turn to you in a few years to boost his failing career.

We hope you laugh in his face.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Tom Lures Nicole Back In

(Read Article Here)

After Katie secretly stole away to talk to Nicole a few weeks ago, Tom isn't taking any chances. He's drawing Nicole back in to his hypotic little spell, just to keep her close enough so she can't warn Katie. Plus, he wants a babysitter near by in case he has to leave Katie at home while he goes out.

I don't know much about body language, but, someone seems just a little more into provinging he's hetero kissing than the other person.

You know, just a theory, since she is leaning away from him, barely touching him, and he's holding her in place and pushing himself on her.

Guess $5M and a shot at fame doesn't taste as good as you thought it would?

"I just can't restrain myself, I honestly can't."

(Read Article Here)

"I've never felt like this before - and I want to communicate it - it's good to communicate happy things. People like hearing it."

Good Idea: Communicating things that bring you joy in a manner appropriate to the situation.

Bad Idea: Acting like you're the only man who's ever loved a woman, and anyone who doesn't abuse a couch doesn't really feel happy.

Tom, Tom, Tom, does John Travolta love his wife? I've never seen him beat his fists on the floor and make out with her like the world depended on it. Huh. He must not actually be happy.

When Lafayette Ronald Hubbard (that's a gay name) married "Polly," I doubt he was so hole-suckingly public about it. I bet he loved Polly.

So listen you little PDA twerp. You can control it, because hundreds of thousands of people do every day. You didn't invent love. You aren't revolutionizing it. You and your little C-List honey are just being attention whores to the n-th degree.

Guess what, Tommyboy, it's getting harder and harder to find news stories, because, surprise surprise, people stopped caring.

Maybe if you two start having sex in public.

Oh wait, you don't do that sex thing, do you?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

For Our Readers With LiveJournal

Someone syndicated us. If you wish, add our scrawny little blog.

We've All Had Sores Like That....On Our SOULS!

Sure, we could be writing to you today about Katie's old-news mouth sores, B vitamins, and Scientology denying everything. But how is that news? "Crazy Theory Shot Down! Scientology A Sham!" Oh, wait, not that last part. That's just a little pipe dream, like Tom Cruise's love of women and Star Jones's marriage.

But that's not the point.

Have you ever made out with someone you didn't want to? Someone with two day stumble and a point to prove? Okay, so my post-make-out stubble burn has never looked so bad. But I liked kissing all those stubbled boys.

If I had kept my mouth closed and my mind on other things (dontvomitinhismouth dontvomitinhismouth), well, you wouldn't have seen the same pictures of me, because I'm not latching on to a psycho to be famous.

This silly little sores are not proof that KatieKate is being brainwashed by the good old folks at Scientology. We already have that. It's called her new "best friend" prompting her answers, the vacant expressions and rehearsed-sounding monologues about love, and do we need any actual further proof than her pretending to be with him? Come on, look at The New Tom Cruise. No one is that ... (crazy? he is. fixated on actually marrying the person you wanted to when you were five? Um, a lot of people would be inbred if that were true) ... where was I?

Oh, all this gross rotting flesh on her mouth only proves faux hot, faux heavy, actually closed mouth on her part, making out for the camera.

Sometimes, you play a beard, you get a beard.

Well, it's more like a 'stache.

Monday, July 25, 2005

It's Still Gross, Even If You Don't Have To Put Out

(Read Article Here - Free Reg. Req.)

[S]elf-proclaimed virgin Katie Holmes, 26, who is famously saving herself for fiance Tom Cruise, presumably unaware of the claims by Mrs Cruise No. 1, Mimi Rogers, to Playboy magazine that he prefers abstinence in order to maintain "the purity of his instrument."

He's respecting his cock.

And over a thousand 15 year olds breathe a sign of relief.

Of course, you still have to kiss him in public and endure his "hand clutch of death" (broken any figures yet?], but it's better than penetration.

I know it sounds almost tempting: He's rich, and (for the time being) famous. So, you get to enjoy your rise to fame, have a bit more spending cash, and don't have to feel his oiled up body sweat dripping on you while you try to choke back the vomit in your mouth.

But Dakota, you're not Katie Holmes. You don't need to cling to the coat tails of some nutjob putting you on display. You shine on your own, and don't you forget it.

Post-Hypnotic Depression Found Untreatable By Vitamins

(Read Article Here)

Hollywood star NICOLE KIDMAN spent months living in her pyjamas as she struggled to get over her marriage split from TOM CRUISE.

The Oscar-winning actress was devastated when her 10 year marriage to Cruise ended suddenly in February 2001.

Kidman recalls, "I didn't get out of my pyjamas for several months. I didn't want to do my hair. I was like, 'Who cares?'"

Guess what, Nicole? Signs of depression are also side effects of hypnosis. Just a little something you should know.

But buck up, the danger is clear, you managed to break free, thank goodness.

Hopefully, in your CruiseFury-Inducing chats with KatieKate, you could impress on her the dangers of the situation, and demonstraite to our young Dakota that it is not a path anyone should take.

(in other news: hynosis may be a doorway to demons.)

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Cruise Makes A Liar Out Of Holmes

In the June/July 2005 issue of Giant Magazine, Katie Holmes was interviewed, stating:

[M]y real name is Kate, which is what my friends and my family call me, but I think I'll always be Katie.

And yet, after "hooking up" with TommyBoy, Holmes seems to be trying to go by Kate (fat chance girlie. You gained fame as Katie. It's not going away.

Dakota, I hope Tom doesn't try to change what people call you. Don't let him make a liar out of you, too.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

The Holmes-Alien Connection

(Read Article Here)

Cruise likes aliens. Holmes has a flying saucer birthmark on her bottom.

A match made in the heavens? Perhaps literally.

After all, odd shaped birth marks could mean something more.

Trying to get in with a brainwashed alien princess?

Friday, July 22, 2005

Hubbard's Secret Service Strikes Again

To the left you will see the Los Angeles Celebrity Centre -- plenty of room to store infidels?!

From Page Six:

July 21, 2005 -- Celebrities like Kirstie Alley and John Travolta say Scientology is open and free, but the sci-fi religion's leadership sure hates being scrutinized in the press. When the church learned that Glamour magazine was working on an expose about a former Scientologist for its September issue, it immediately sent two emissaries to Conde Nast headquarters. An insider at Glamour said, "The story is about a woman who grew up in the church and literally fled to the country to escape her husband, mother and the Scientologists she lived with. During our fact-checking, we called the L.A. headquarters and several hours later two Scientologists showed up at Conde Nast and had security call the editor of the story to tell her she had visitors. In our offices, they demanded to see the story but we declined, noting we don't release stories until they are on stands. They showed up twice more that week with DVD's and books about Scientology and then finally with their comments. During the last visit, the Scientologists saw the latest issue of Glamour with Nicole Kidman on the cover with the tagline tease, 'Nicole opens up about Tom,' and demanded copies."

Watch for the white vans, Dakota.

"I only want you to wear flats because I CARE."

While we at Save Dakota might applaud TommyTom's choice to show us that TRUE FOR REAL FOREVER LOVE! knows no boundaries, hideous physical defects or moments of misguided self-determination aside, we can't help but worry ... Dakota has a lot of growing to do, and should she begin to rival his massive five-foot two-inch frame, will she find herself similarly hobbled?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

in case you were wondering...

Maverick is not, and never has been, homosexual and has never had a homosexual affair. But he does respect the cock.

Holmes Visits Orphans, Relives Childhood

Read Article Here and Here

Even though Katie Holmes is a big girl now, yes she is, yes she is, she doesn't mind an opportunity to kick off her shoes and relive her youth.

"It feels like it was only yesterday, instead of two or three years ago, that I was a child," Holmes stated (okay, she didn't).

Apparently, her puppeteer, well, somehow convinced her that it was her idea, that he just "inspired" her (oh, the things they can do with hypnosis these days) to go frolic with the orphans.

You know, if he were sterile (which, he most certainly is NOTdon'tsueus), sending his lady to the orphanage would be a good way to encourage her that adoption is the best way to make babies. "Like mail order!"

Of course, that's just a silly little unfounded untrue thoughtdon'tsueus.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Yes, Dakota, There Is A Santa Claus

Disclaimer: We make no statements trying to assert the validity of any claims made in the following article. Though we may hold personal opinions (that have never been stated to be taken as a fact), these opinions are not meant to sway other people. We are not asserting you are gay, little man, so don't sue.

To Out or Not to Out: Tabs Keep Rumors Away From Public

Today, big name celebrities who have been the subject of homosexuality rumors, such as Tom Cruise, have been aggressive in pursuing legal remedies or, as with Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford, in even buying up advertising space in national newspapers to counter allegations of sham marriages.

On a totally, completely different note, I remember reading something about younger, pre to early teen girls looking androgynous. Shakespeare often wrote about women dressing as men, and having other women fall for them. I would assume, just as a little opinion dancing around in my brain that is not true and not offered for any truth and is definitely not slander, that a young androgynous girl could perhaps more resemble a male that an older, more has-breasts type of female.

And, just because I like to ramble, and non of this has anything to do with anything else, Nicole Kidman is very thin. She has an amazing body, but isn't the most buxom actress in Hollywood.

And, still rambling, nothing connected to anything else here, KatieKate, if you pull her hair back, has a sort of masculine face, doesn't she? Sort of looks like she could be a...TomBoy? [we most certainly do NOT mean to imply that she could be a BOY for TOM. Not at all.]

Monday, July 18, 2005

"Cult Classic"

Holy fem-bot, Batman!
Katie Holmes is turning into a zombie in front of our eyes. Pass the popcorn.
By Rebecca Traister

"... It's profoundly sad that Holmes seems not just to have drunk the Kool-Aid, but to be wearing the pitcher it was stirred in over her head. But it's just as sad that because we are celebrity imbibers first and human beings second, we can't bring ourselves to politely look the other way as she stumbles around."

"... But what about her 'own career,' which is in free fall, now that she's giving up plum lead roles, like that of Andy Warhol muse Edie Sedgwick in 'Factory Girl,' reportedly because Sedgwick took drugs that Scientologists frown upon? When asked about Cruise's influence over her 'Factory Girl' choice, Holmes tells Haskell, 'Tom's so supportive and he's such an inspiration.'

"Holmes tells Haskell that people from her hometown in Ohio who are worried about her 'aren't my friends.' Then, when an obviously timed diamond necklace arrives from Cruise, she does an ecstatic split (in reference to her beloved's Oprah couch-jump) and announces once again that she's in love. It's the kind of brainwashed confusion -- that those who express concern are not your friends, but those who send gifts in the middle of press ops love you -- that is best explored by a therapist, within a family and with friends. Readers can't do anything to help her. So what are we supposed to feel when we read about it?"

My New Favorite Not-Real Word

Without L.Ron, Your Children Will Be Little Bastards

"Your mommy and daddy won't let you have a phone, honey? Don't worry; Uncle Tommy's taking care of it. Don't pay any attention to the smell coming from the basement, and don't worry what the 'GPS' on the side of your phone means. Who loves ya, baby?"

EXCERPTS [bold and formatting is for my own emphasis]:

"Children are not dogs. They can’t be trained like dogs are trained. They are not controllable items. They are, and let’s not overlook the point, men and women. A child is not a special species of animal distinct from man. A child is a man or a woman who has not attained full growth."

Um. This seems a little bit ... okay, not Neverlandy ... but maybe?

"The sweetness and love of a child is preserved only so long as he can exert his own self-determinism. You interrupt that and to a degree you interrupt his life."

And so TommyTom helps Dakota 'exert her own self-determinism.' Thumbs-up, bucko. but how is slipping her one-a-days and Flinstones Kids chewables like Ritalin giving her a choice? Oh, and by-the-by, I bet our KatieKate would like a chance to 'exert her own self-determinism,' maybe call one of her friends ... if you let her put any of their numbers in the new phone you bought HER.

"The reason people started to confuse children with dogs and started training children with force lies in the field of psychology. The psychologist worked on 'principles' as follows:
* 'Man is evil.'
* 'Man must be trained into being a social animal.'
* 'Man must adapt to his environment.'

As these postulates aren’t true, psychology doesn’t work. [Um ... what? Wait ... what?]And if you ever saw a wreck, it’s the child of a professional psychologist. Attention to the world around us instead of to texts somebody thought up after reading somebody’s texts, shows us the fallacy of these postulates.

The actuality is quite opposite the previous beliefs.

The truth lies in this direction:
* Man is basically good.
* Only by severe aberration can man be made evil. Severe training drives him into nonsociability.
* Man must retain his personal ability to adapt his environment to him to remain sane.
* A man is as sane and safe as he is self-determined

I think this page alone gives some heavy clues as to TommyTom's motivation in much of his behavior -- the crybaby lawsuits, the couch-jumping, the levitation -- and a fun little Hubbardian Catch-22: the harder he tries to exert his OWN self-determination and adapt his environment to him, the crazier he seems!

Oh Dakota. I know how much fun it might seem right now, exerting your self-determination hither and yon, gettin' digits and ringin' up your homies like a tumblin' tumbleweed. But this road leads to dark places.

Personally, we're not surprised at all.

Read The Article Here.

Crazy like a fox? A fox on a nice, long cruise, maybe, heading toward the island of In A Few Years No One Will Care About You.

I'm all for him damaging his career.

But, really, this kind of stunt? White jackets aside, you'd have to be crazy. There's nothing else I can say. I'm sure this was some weak attempt to make light of the fact that he's TOTALLY OFF HIS FUCKING ROCKER AND TAKING HER WITH HIM. Light was not made. Still in total darkness, Tommy Boy, total, complete darkness you nutjob.

Dakota, run for the hills.

Nicole: A Victim Of The Tom Cruise Machine ... CRAZY Machine!

From Page Six:

DID Nicole Kidman become deeply immersed in Scientology before she became disenchanted and quit the quirky "religion"? Scientology insiders tell PAGE SIX Kidman didn't just "take a few courses" while married to ex-husband Tom Cruise, as was commonly assumed, but actually reached an elite level of the religion called "OT II" that only select Scientologists attain. The extent of Kidman's involvement was kept under wraps, our spies tell us, because Scientology elders worried it looked bad to have a public figure delve so deeply into the religion and suddenly bolt. Kidman's alleged disillusionment with the faith would explain her friction with Cruise over Scientology, which many people close to the couple blame for their 2001 divorce. One major issue was whether the couple's two adopted children would be raised in the sci-fi-based religion — which seems to be happening. As we reported last week, 12-year-old Isabella Cruise has begun taking courses in the celeb-obsessed sect. A rep for Kidman did not return calls.

A shared enamor for Scientology -- I think we can all agree, an important trait in Tommy's eyes. (Do you think KatieKate calls him Tommy? Do you think Dakota calls him Tommy?) And lookie! Stuff for the kiddies! Get them in early, and they'll be levitating their way to OT V before you can say Dianetics!

Advice from a friend.

Listen to me, little girl:
Do not answer that phone.
Do not take those vitamins.
Put down the Scientology coloring book and come into the light.

Show Me Your Teeth

Read Article Here

Since she started "dating" Cruise, little Joey from "Dawson's Creek" wears the frenetic Miss America smile, what a wise woman I once knew called the Simian Smile of Aggression (way too many teeth).

Many animals show aggression by baring their teeth: dogs, wombats, and, I thought, primates.

Upon doing some research, though, I stumbled across an article that points at something better than agression: fear.

Among human babies, however, the 'tooth-baring' smile is associated less with friendship than with fright--which, one might argue, is related to the tooth-baring threats of baboons...In primates, showing the teeth, especially teeth held together, is almost always a sign of submission. The human smile probably has evolved from that. (from here)

Fright and submission. Well, that certainly fits in with reports of KatieKate acting different, acting more subdued. Though previously thought to be quite intelligent (apparently, she was accepted to Columbia), recent interviews have shown her to be slow to respond, easily confused, and prone to repeating "catch phrases."

Fright and submission seem so appropriate.

Listen closely Dakota: You do not want fear. You do not want submission. You do not, will not, ever, want Tom.

The Tom Machine

From People Magazine's Life&Style, July 25, 2005:

The couple recently had their first major fight--after Katie confessed that she had met with Tom's ex, Nicole Kidman, in New York at the end of June. Though sources insist the meeting was innocent, Katie kept it a secret for weeks--and wound up in a screaming match with Tom when she finally blurted it out.

Tom went ballistic," says a source close to him, "He kept screaming at her 'How could you do this to me?' Then he started crying. He felt betrayed and hurt--as if Katie had converted to the side of the enemy."

But Katie, who has seemed content to let Tom take the reins in their relationship battled back. "She told Tom she didn't enjoy feeling like a prisoner," says a friend of the couple. "She screamed back at him, "I'm not your property!" She punctuated the outburst with a threat, the first source says, "Katie told him that if he ever acted that way again with her, she'd be out he door in a flash."

According to the source, "Katie had a pleasant visit at Nicole's apartment. They had a few drinks and gossiped about Tom goodnaturedly." But it wasn't all generic girl talk; Nicole offered some advice. "Always stand your ground when you feel strongly about something," the source says Nicole told Katie. "Otherwise the Tom Cruise machine can run right over you.

Clearly, Nicole Kidman is fighting the good fight. And Tom is fighting like a 3 year old, who lost his hypnotising glasses. KatieKate thinking on her own? *gasp* Unheard of. Why would she dare to do such a thing. Next she might be asking him to stop gripping her so hard in public that he leaves bruises. Or she might go against his direct orders and stop slouching when they're together.

Maybe she stop giving Isabella tips on how to dress like her. I mean, am I the only one who can't tell them apart from a distance?

Dear lord, I just realized, Tom's daughter Isabella is adopted. Paging Woody Allen?

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Tom Travolta

Remember Battlefeild Earth? Okay, I'm getting a bunch of blank stares. Let me try again.

Remember when John Travolta made that crazy movie about aliens where he wore long hair and nose plugs and hasn't don't anything since and no one cares about current John Travolta anymore? Yeah, me, too, but only vaguely.

It was big news at the time. I mean, fuck, Travolta was in Pulp Fiction. This guy was COOL.

But then, he puts out some crap sci fi B movie, only wait, it's actually a story of his religious beliefs? Now, I know a number of people follow the Star Trek way of life, but they don't think it was real. That's crazy talk.

And, crazy talk it was. I had to look up on to see what movies he'd done afterward. I hadn't heard of any of them. Well, except "Be Cool," but that was so, so bad.

Now, I'm sure Travolta and Cruise share protein strands or something, so they must communicate. Are they so delusional that they are blind to the obvious: Being crazy can ruin your career. Especially that kind of crazy.

Sure, if you're a pencil pusher in a company that embraces...certain beliefs, anouncing those beliefs can help keep you in the company, or even help you be promoted over non-believers.

But acting crazy only works for writers who want their ashes shot out of cannons, or Gary Busey.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Cruise fading off into obscurity, to become the next Rex Manning. Just fade away! And he's well on his way to doing just that.

At least Travolta was tall.

Friday, July 15, 2005

The Eleven Factor Possibilities

While we still believe that Mr Cruise will be pining for our dear Dakota, I've put together a list of other 1989 babies. Let's take a closer look at some of the girls that would prove the 'Eleven Factor' to be a reality, rather than a myth. I like to call them the Cruise Eleven Factor Girls Club: Version 4.

Caitlin Wachs
March 15, 1989
This young starlet has been in plenty of movies and television shows in her day. She played the young Vivi in The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. She played Kevin Costner's daughter in Thirteen Days. Recently, she starred opposite of Molly Shannon in the tv series Cracking Up. According to Celebopedia, Caitlin made her mark in the industry when she appeared on NBC's Profiler. Celebopedia also has the following information on Caitlin: Wachs received the Young Artists Award nomination three years in a row and was a 1998 nominee at the Hollywood Reporter YoungStar Awards for best female actress in a TV drama series. As you can see, this girl is going places. If she ever makes it on the 'A' list of celebs, the she might be picked for Tom's Eleven Factor Project.

Yvonne Zima
January 16, 1989
Yvonne is apparently one of three Zima sisters in the industry. Seems that this young actress has appeared in a handful of television shows and movies such as Roseanne, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Heat, Executive Decision, and ER as Dr Mark Greene's daughter, Rachel. Ms. Zima has had three nominations for the Young Artist Award. We believe this might be another young talent who has the potential to become a leading lady, a quality that Tommy obviously looks for when choosing his potential mates.

Lucy Hale
June 14, 1989
There really isn't much to say about Ms. Hale. According to the Foxes on Idol website, she was on some junior version of American Idol that was formed in order to create a group of younger singing sensations. For the most part, Mr Cruise has stayed away from those in the music industry and stuck with the actresses. Based on this reason alone (well that and the fact I can't find any current information on Lucy), I think she will be safe from Tom's Eleven Factor.

Michelle Wie
Oct. 11, 1989
This young sports star has been the talk of the golf community lately. She is currently playing in the U.S. Men's Amateur Public Links tournament which might lead to a bid for the Masters. Based upon the reading I have done on Michelle, she seems entirely too focused on her golfing career and turning pro, to be sidetracked by the likes of Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise (then again, we all thought Katie was to be taken seriously about her career, too).
However, Michelle IS taller than him measuring in at an even 6 feet. He does seem to like the taller ladies. Regardless of that small turn-on to Tom, he doesn't really go for the sporty women. Michelle can be an 'A' list sports celeb without Tom's assistance.

There you have it. The list of the eligible girls that could be the next Mrs Tom Cruise if he continues to follow the Eleven Factor.

Note to the Cruise Eleven Factor Girls Club:
Please don't dream of being this man's wife someday. You already see what's happened to Katie. You see what is going on with Dakota. The man is buying her a cell phone WITHOUT her parents permission! What's next? A trip to Vegas? Drinking? Drugs? Gambling? Or maybe even SCIENTOLOGY???? Keep shooting towards your goals girls. Stay focusedl, and for goodness sake, don't do any movies with Tom or take any calls from his agent! This will be the end of it all.

Now let's get back to the reason we are all here. SAVE DAKOTA!

Crazy Theory of the Day: Tom Cruise is the Anti-Christ

We recently stumbled across something by LiveJournal user Other, posted in jest, of course:

I have a crazy theory that Tom Cruise is the (current) Anti-Christ.

On March 2, 1946 Jack Parson with the help of an elemental and L. Ron Hubbard performed the Babalon Working. I usually like to tell this story by claiming that it was anal sex magick, but it seems like Parsons jerked off while Hubbard took notes. The purpose of this operation was to bring about the Anti-Christ. It seems unlikely that Jack Parsons was the Anti-Christ, even if that was the intention. Although Parson might have been the father of the American Space Program (Werner von Braun claimed it was Parsons, not himself, who was the true father of the space program) and a co-founder of what would later become the JPL, the true Anti-Christ just might have been someone else. Perhaps the homunculus was not incarnated as the space program.

Not long after the operation, Hubbard defrauded Parsons and ran off with his girlfriend (1947). A few years later, Hubbard published Dianetics (1950). Before this, Hubbard only wrote two pieces of science fiction (1937, 1940). It is possible that it running off with Parson's girlfriend, Hubbard became the Anti-Christ as you need the Scarlet Woman to become the Anti-Christ. Yes, it is quite possible that Hubbard became the Anti-Christ as 1) he was in the operation and 2) was dating the Scarlet Woman. It is not clear if Parsons died (1952) before or after Hubbard became the Anti-Christ. Soon after all this Hubbard founded the Church of Scientology (1953).

Okay, now here is the crazy part. Perhaps, just perhaps, Hubbard transfered his antichristness to Tom Cruise. No one who is not the Anti-Christ would jump up and down on Oprah's couch like that. Tom Cruise must be the Anti-Christ.

Is Katie Holmes the new Scarlet Woman? Or will Tom Cruise's wife-after-Holmes be the new Scarlet Woman? Being the Scarlet Woman is an exhausting role and generally don't last long in that position. This might explain why Cruise has gotten married so many times.

I don't want Dakota to be the Scarlet Woman.
I don't want Dakota to take the vitamins.
Hold me.

It Helps That He Can Call Her Joey

Disclaimer: This is pure opinion, and is not offered as the truth of the matter assurted, nor is it offered to sway any opinions the reader holds about anyone mentioned in this post.

Why I think Tom is Gay.

No it's not his oh so pretty hair or the fact that he walks like he had something in his butt the night before. I think he's gay because he tries so damn hard to be uber heterosexual. His bevy of babes that he always has to be touching in public, "must touch Katie, do not let go Tom, don't let go, someone might figure it out." His suing of any speculation and his need to act hyper aggressive when he's laughably not scary in any way possible. I mean, I could make him wet his pants.

Come on Tom, if you're straight stop being so insecure about your man hood you pansy. Anyway,if you are gay it's ok to go with it Tom. Everyone else knows already anyway.

Pissed Off Gerbil

Thursday, July 14, 2005

The Eleven Factor

According to TomCruiseIsNuts dot com: "If Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise and Katie "I'm as virginial as Britney Spears was when she was feigning innocence" Holmes wed, each of his wives will have been eleven years younger than the last. (Mimi Rogers, b. 1956; Nicole Kidman, b. 1967; Katie "I'm as virginial as Britney Spears was when she was feigning innocence" Holmes, b. 1978)."

Dakota Fanning was born on February 23, 1994. Holy crap, I was a junior in high school. But I digress -- 1994 puts her five years out of the Eleven Factor. Born five years too late. Will that be enough to stop Mr. Cruise from what is becoming evident to be his master plan, Fanning Domination?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Taking into consideration his (alleged) Scientologistical powers as a (rumored) OT VII, one could suppose that, in the act of ridding the world of poverty, mental illness and illiteracy, Cruise would need to involve himself in quite an array of superpowers -- including time travel? WHY NOT, CRAZY SCIENTOLOGY MAN?! And! We all know that time travel holds its own various and sundry (and often changing) rules and paradoxes (or would it be paradoxii?) -- we've all seen it's vast and ill-effects in such time travel documentaries as The Butterfly Effect, Twelve Monkeys and Back to the Future I, II, and III. Suppose that, during his spiritual travels, his physical body remains in Hollywood, grinning like a maniac, deep-dipping poor ditzed-out KatieKate, sending his 75% tithing to L. Ron's estate, making bloated and improbable action flicks, his freaky, unaging mug plastered hither and yon ... all the while, his spiritual self travels time and space, healing the sick and pumping his spiritual fists in ecstasy while jumping on spiritual couches as he battles the evils of dyslexia and anti-depressants. And suppose that he returns from his travels, oh, say, FIVE YEARS LATER?!

And thus: the five years negated, the Eleven Factor may still leave our ward, sweet little Dakota, at dire risk. Maybe this sounds like so much science-fiction inspired fantasy -- but, hey, some people would say that the fantasy is the walking dead in the form of a guy we like to call the Big J.C. I say? Better safe than sorry.

Foreshadowing, Part II

The Dakota

Thanks to a tip from our good friend, anonymous poster "apple blossom," the Save Dakota group wants to highlight what more and more appears to be a glaring clue regarding the dangerous precedent that Mr. Cruise has set insofar as his subliminal cameo of the possible future Mrs. Cruise, KatieKate, in the brilliant 2001 Cameron Crowe flick, Vanilla Sky.

You will note, as recorded below, an image of KatieKate appears for a single frame, at approximately 3 minutes and 51 seconds into the movie, as the cover model of a fictional magazine, TV Digest.

You will now note: the building that Mr. Cruise's character lives in is the historic and majestic Dakota, located on the northwest corner of 72nd Street and Central Park West in New York City.

Is this yet another mere "coincidence?" Is Mr. Cruise nothing more than a pawn in Life's giant game of chess? Or is something much more ominous happening? Did this man set into motion, using his advanced powers as a (rumored) OT VII Scientologist, a course of events that would lead to his eventual assimilation of poor KatieKate? And, if so, have these forces of -- I'm afraid we must be clear -- evil and mind-control also set their steely, beady sights on the young and unsullied Ms. Fanning?

Only time will tell. I say: Do not wait for the years to pass! If this sort of altering of wills is allowed to continue, it may be too late by the time the rest of the world sees Mr. Cruise couch-hopping for the extraordinary Dakota! Act now, and save this child from a fate worse than death -- a Scientology wedding on the Mountain of Xenu!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Mr. Icky Cruise Give Fanning A Phone

Read Article Here.

Listen, this is not a good sign. Why do parents give in to getting children cell phones? To keep tabs. Wives give husband cell phones (well, did, before they were so common), to keep in touch. Family plans, frequently called number discounts. Cellular phones were popular for work, so your office could get in touch with employees whenever they were needed.

So, why would Cruise give Fanning a phone, when her parents wouldn't even comply?

The answer is something I don't even want to think about.

Hey, Dakota, this is a concerned friend calling. Keep your head on straight. Don't let your drinks out of your site. You may look up to him, but don't trust him. Ulterior motives abound. Proceed with caution. Phones are fun. Older men giving you attention feels fun, also. Don't do something you'll regret.

Give it a good hard thought: why on earth would he give you a phone?

Nicole Kidman Blames Tom Cruise For Losing Her friends

Read The Story Here

KatieKate's friends are already talking about her disappearing. She's vanished for days at a time. And now, it seems her only "friend" is her scientology appointed "best friend," who can prompt her on how she "really" feels about Mr. Icky Cruise.

Nicole Kidman confessed she lost all her friends during the marriage with actor Tom Cruise, because their relationship was too private. Kidman was only 21 when she married Cruise, so she changed her lifestyle adapting to Tom's life.

Though KatieKate isn't quite as young, she still feigns the air of innocence. Though Kidman is, at least in our opinion, a far more stunning beauty, it would be sad to watch KatieKate ruin her social life and toss out her youth.

Some may argue that KatieKate and Mr. Icky Cruise has the opposite of a private relationship, considering how often he is seen in public clutching her as though she may run screaming into the night at any moment. But much do we really know about them? They LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH, but can't remember how they first met (scientology meeting arranged by Mr. Icky Cruise, we have been able to get out of KatieKate. Does no one find this odd? It seems to mesh better with the theories that he had a list, than anything else. Why else would he invite her, of all people, to some weird little cult lunch, where, it seems, it was just the two of them. Oh, and some advisors).

She can't think of a single thing that could ever be wrong with him. I adore my boyfriend and I could make you a list right now. Brainwashed or lying. Either way, we're certainly not seeing the whole truth.

Remember, the goal of this blog is to save Dakota. The easiest way to do that, it seems, is to expose the dangers of Mr. Icky Cruise.

Poor Nicole. Things can only get better. And trust me, dating a taller guy? Yum yum yum.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Tom Cruise, the new Michael Jackson?

--Both, in the beginning, appearenced relatively sane, if not actually attractive.
--Both, also, were (whether they still are is far more debatable) talented.
--Both have been surrounded by rumors of homosexual activity.
--Both are raising children that neither actually participated in making (it came out in Michael's trial that "his" kids are likely not actually related to him).
--Both have has publicity stunt/sham relationships/marriages.
--Both have undenyably gone off the deep side.

While MJ retreated to his little fantasy camp for pre-teen boys, errr, Neverland Ranch, Mr. Icky Cruise launched a full scale media whore campaign. After all, before this, he was an aging ex-heart throb. His biggest fans now had vericose veins and saggy tits. That's no way to be a movie star.

And, we have to admit, during Jackson's trail, he was more famous than ever. Perhaps Mr. Icky Cruise is taking a page out of his book. Thankfully, his current choice, KatieKate, is far more legal than a member of the fantasy camp.

But, you have to wonder, how many pages out of the Jackson book will Cruise take? Someone, say, around Miss Fanning's age would fit perfectly with the "how to be the next Michael Jackson" workout. He's had close contact with her (jesus juice, vitamins, either way...). She appears to trust him. And the media is so distracted with his ADD induced fits of monkeydom on couches, spending a bit too much time with someone other than KatieKat might just slip under the radar.

Let's hope I'm wrong.


SO: The other night I was watching one of my favorite movies, Vanilla Sky, and feeling rather inquisitive sofaras wanting to see what sort of foreshadowing they laid down.

At the beginning of the movie there's a dream sequence, with a panicked Tom Cruise running through an empty Times Square. There are several single-frame images, too quick to see with the nekkid eye, so I paused the DVD and started clicking through a frame at a time. There are shots of TC's character's father, of Courtney Love (a little later in the movie his secretary tells him that "Courtney Love wants to know if [he] got her email!"), of the fictional magazine that his character runs, Rise (very Maxim-esque) ... and also, at 3 minutes and 51 seconds, a very quick, single-frame shot of the fictional magazine that made his character's father a fortune, TV Digest (which we later find is ironic, because his father never owned a teevee, and blah blah blah).

And guess who our lovely, slightly provocative in a sweet-and-innocent-way cover girl is?

KatieKate Holmes.

I'm positive it's a coincidence, but ... what if it isn't? What if he's had this plan for YEARS? I mean, it would fit in with that Scientology manifest destiny crapola. And also, creepy -- this was the film set where he met Penelope. Maybe because she LOOKS like "Kate"?

Just thought I'd share.

Cruise starts shooting film in Rome: STAY AWAY FROM ROME DAKOTA

Read Article Here

Tom Cruise started shooting scenes for Mission: Impossible 3 in Rome on Tuesday by whizzing past the camera in a speedboat on the river Tiber.

Fans looked on from a bridge near Castel Sant'Angelo as the star sped under them to film the third installment in the action-adventure series, which is a remake of a popular 1960s TV show.

The boats that usually ship locals and tourists along the river, as well as all other traffic, were barred from the historic waterway for the day, said Battelli di Roma, a company running ferries on the Tiber.

Several scenes in the movie are set in Rome, Italian news reports said. After filming a motorboat chase on the Tiber, shooting will move near St. Peter's Square and in the area around the Trevi Fountain, La Repubblica daily said.

Before stepping into the speedboat, Cruise kissed and embraced actress Katie Holmes on the riverside set. The two became engaged last month after Cruise proposed at the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Mission: Impossible 3 is directed by J.J. Abrams, one of the creators of ABC's Lost and Alias, and is produced by Cruise and his partner, Paula Wagner.

The movie will feature Cruise and co-stars Ving Rhames, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Michelle Monaghan and Philip Seymour Hoffman. It is set for release on May 5, 2006.

The first Mission: Impossible movie came out in 1996 and was directed by Brian De Palma. John Woo directed Mission: Impossible 2, released in 2000.

So, I guess he conned the studio, despite his wicked little faux hetero stunt pulling, to go ahead with MI:3. Lord knows we won't be sick to death of Mr. Icky by then.

But, in Gay Paree, he's at least away from Miss Fanning. FOR NOW.

Cruise 'not welcome,' in Paris, or in Dakota.

Read Article Here

Paris - The Paris city hall has pledged not to make US actor Tom Cruise an honorary citizen because of his Church of Scientology membership.

In a debate late on Monday, the Socialist-controlled municipal assembly approved a resolution "never to welcome the actor Tom Cruise, spokesperson for Scientology and self-declared militant for this organisation".

Last month on a promotional tour for his film War of the Worlds, the 43-year-old star chose the Eiffel Tower to propose to girlfriend Katie Holmes.

He was also made an honorary citizen of the southern French city of Marseille.

Like many other European governments, the French authorities view Scientology - founded in the United States in 1954 by science-fiction writer L Ron Hubbard - as a dangerous cult.

Cruise was described as a "sect-symbol" by a Socialist deputy.

Hey, Tom, stay out of Paris, and the stay out of Dakota, er, AWAY FROM HER.

The French excel at food, fashion, and surrendering. If they're willing to take a stand against Mr. Icky Cruise, you KNOW there's a problem.

But we knew there was a problem from the start. Step off Mr. Icky. STEP OFF.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Please, Mr. Icky Cruise, let her go.

Now, this is about saving Dakota. So, really, to fully save her, we should hope that Mr. Icky Cruise is never ever single again, and marries Katie Kate Holmes and they live happily ever after in their honeymoon phase blah blah blah.

But take a good long look at this:

How can anyone, in good conscience, want him to hold KatieKate any longer? That does not look comfortable, literally and figuratively. In 90% of the pictures we have seen, KatieKate appears to be restrained somehow by Mr. Icky Cruise. Crushing her hand, holding her too close against him.

Sadly, if you scroll down you'll see similar pictures of Dakota Fanning in equally restained positions.

Though it is not our job nor duty to Save KatieKate, we cannot condone the relationship either, until it appears, at least, more healthy, and more an informed decision on both parties' part.

Instead, it looks like KatieKate accepted the money, ate the vitamins, and just doesn't know any better. Brain washing has been known to happen. Maybe not directly, but rumor has it, the ring has "magical" qualities.


Read Article Here

Although no date has been set for the wedding, at least Katie has tried at one dress on!

"Cruise goes real creepy" IS THAT POSSIBLE???

Read Article Here

Cruz and Holmes were then forced to hug.

Dakota has hugged kATIE!!!! OH SHIT!!! Forcing her to hug his "eventual" ex??? that's just absurd Tom!!! leave the girl alone!!!!

Cruise's kids learn Scientology

Read Article Here

Hey, isn't Isabella around Dakota's age?

Tom Cruise is reportedly raising his and ex-wife Nicole Kidman's two adopted children as Scientologists.

Isabella, 12, and Connor, 10, live with the 43-year-old actor in Beverly Hills where they are being home-schooled by his Scientologist sisters Cass and Marian, reports

According to a recent issue of Source, a magazine endorsed by the church, Isabella has completed the "Basic Study Manuel", an introductory course in the sci-fiction-based religion that has been embraced by several Hollywood celebrities.

Cruise and Kidman's marriage ended in 2001.


Read Article Here

The lady doth protest not nearly enough. It's impossible, even for a moment, to slip under the halo of cartoon hearts dancing around Holmes's head—which partly explains why the media has so relished the project of puncturing her happiness ever since it was first broadcast, from the David di Donatello awards in Rome, on April 29. (Even People magazine, a typically unwavering Hollywood celebrant, has published polls indicating that the majority of its readers believe "TomKat" is a hoax.) Though Holmes's star has surely risen, its motion is more akin to the teacup ride at the fairground: a spin that brings queasiness, not thrills.

Anyone who has seen photos from the couple's June tour of European capitals in support of their summer movies will recognize the tall, cold-eyed Jessica Rodriguez, a third wheel at all of Holmes's recent public appearances. Rodriguez, 29, was described to me as Holmes's "Scientologist chaperone," and it was clear that she would be on hand during our interview despite my protests. Polite and restrained but alert to troublesome questions, Rodriguez chimes in only to offer an amen following one of Holmes's rhapsodies. ("You adore him," Rodriguez says after the actress explains that she can't keep her hands off Cruise.) But she rises from her chair when Holmes is asked how she feels about the widespread disbelief in her new union.

"The truth is, we don't read that stuff because it's just rude," Rodriguez says—referring to rumors that Cruise made a financial arrangement with Holmes (after auditioning a field of other young starlets, including Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba and Kate Bosworth). When I suggest that the televised hyperbolizing of their happiness may have undercut its credibility, Rodriguez asks, "Have you ever been in love? You just want to share it with the world." I suggest that many couples prefer to cherish the feeling privately, especially in the delicate first months. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, whatever the nature of their relationship, come to mind.

"But why can't they go public, you know what I mean?" Rodriguez continues. "Like, Brad and Angelina—that's just a shame for them. Right, Katie?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm just so happy," Holmes says in reply as a makeup artist begins to powder her cheeks. (Holmes's skin, in contrast to the evidence of a recent barrage of embarrassing tabloid photos, is perfect.) "And I love celebrating our happiness. I can't keep it in."

pink IS the new blog!

Thank you Pink Is The New Blog.

Sunday, July 10, 2005


DO NOT TAKE HIS VITAMINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He apparently scares more people than just us

hRead Article Here

Tom Cruise's new film War Of The Worlds has been blamed for a mass panic in Siberia after locals mistook a tornado for an alien invasion.

People in the Khabarovsk region of Siberia jumped into their cars and fled their homes in panic when the freak wind arrived out of nowhere, flattening trees and destroying property.

But officials from local emergency services said the destruction had been caused by a freak tornado that ripped through the area.

They blamed the fear of an alien invasion on the recent showing of the War Of The Worlds.

This fear is world-wide, and not entirely based on fiction. If I thought Tom Cruise was coming to my homeland to steal my children, I would run, too. Hide your daughters! Who will be next! If not Dakota, hide your 15 year olds. "11 years younger than the last" seems to be his mantra. Pray he does not break it. Pray he keeps Dakota safe. But keep your daughters safe, too. Don't let them take his vitamins.


Read Article Here

Tom Cruise is being savaged at the US box office by a troupe of lovelorn birds.

March of the Penguins, a low-budget wildlife film about the mating habits of the emperor penguin, is promising to be the surprise hit of the northern summer after pulling in larger audiences at the 20 cinemas where it has been shown than Cruise's War of the Worlds and Batman Begins combined. It has proved so popular in its first two weeks that it was opening at 350 others this weekend.

Even Tom and Katie combined are no match for the victorious, beautiful birds.

Now, most young girls should have a healthy facination with animals. Dakota, we hope you are one of them. These birds will rescue you, show you there are better things that a sham relationship and brainwashing. Far better things. Even with your sunken eyes and odd teeth, you could go far. Hopefully, your teenage years will not be filled with gawkyness. You are better than Haley whateverhisnamewas. You will rise above. DO NOT TAKE HIS VITAMINS FOLLOW THE PENGUINS THEY WILL KEEP YOU SAFE.

Dakota: Don't take his vitamins, and DO NOT "board" his "plane"

Read Article Here

Hollywood star Tom Cruise reportedly wants his fianci Katie Holmes to experience the thrill of piloting a plane.

The 'Mission Impossible' actor wants to give Katie flying lessons, and though she is said to be a bit reluctant, she wants to give it a try to make Tom happy.

"Katie's apprehensive but he could ask her to stick her head in the oven and she would do it," femalefirst quoted a source as saying.

note to dakota: also, avoid sticking your 'head' in his 'oven'

Katie Lies For Tom; DAKOTA: tell no lies!!!

Read Article Here

Tom Cruise's fiancee Katie Holmes might be converting to Scientology, but she has dismissed claims that Cruise is forcing her to follow his religion.

According to The Sun, Tom is said to have hired a Church of Scientology official to accompany Holmes at interviews. But Katie has denied that Cruise pushed her into his religion.

"That's really ludicrous. Tom's the most loving generous man who wants to help people," Holmes was quoted as saying.

Hey, Tom, love only her. Stay away from Dakota. AWAY

Saturday, July 09, 2005

DO I HEAR AN ECHO?????????????

Read Article Here

“Tom and I will always be in our honeymoon phase,” Holmes says in W, on newsstands July 22. In the interview, a theme emerges with many similar comments, including “Tom is the most incredible man in the world.”


does he have her already? did she take the vitamins? please, dakota, just be echoing your elders. do not go quietly!!!!


Read Article Here



Friday, July 08, 2005

Katie: I don't want to get married right now


She sees the way he looks at DF, the way he scoops her up in his arms, the way he proudly FINALLY for the first time in his pathetic little life, feels TALL.

And she is sickened.

As you should be, Kat(i)e, as you should be.

Read Article Here

Katie Holmes says she is not ready to get married "right now", despite her recent engagement to Tom Cruise.

The couple who began dating in April got engaged in Paris last month.

Katie says she want to enjoy her engagement before settling down reports

She said: "Everybody in LA says they never want to get married, well I don't want to get married right now, but I do want to grow old with somebody."

Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise loves leather jackets

Read Article Here

Don't touch the leather dakota!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't take his vitamins!!!!!!!!!!

There are no coicidences

Read Article Here


Or an elaborate hook-up? Conveniant, isn't it, that she's an island, stable, unable to move of her own free will, being a child, and this steamboat of a man will just hook up next to her and unload all it sea-voyaging men.


Do NOT let his ship port at your dock young Dakota. Keep true to your virgin island. His hull is cracked! No vitamins can save him now!

I hope you washed your hands before you touched dakota!!!!

Read Article Here

Get This.... My friend's house in New Jersey was used for exterior shots for "War Of The Worlds" and the cast and crew generally hung around the street and on the property for long hours during the shooting days.

Well as it turns out the man himself, Tom Cruise spent quite a few hours in and around the house and
well one day, nature called and Tom went and used the bathroom (and I mean USED the bathroom i.e #2) and Never washed his hands!!! He went in, did his thing and walked right out!! Then he went and shook hands and posed for pictures with people! It was horrifying!!
Tom Cruise DOESN'T wash his hands after a Dump!!

(TRUE story).

What can I do to help you????

boycotting war of the worlds:

You won't get any money from me, pervy man.


Read Article Here

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have a very important announcement to make: I LOVE THIS WOMAN."

She is an extraordinary woman. Simply extraordinary. I could not be more fascinated by her. She is young. She is vital. She is BRILLIANT. I know you've heard these things before, but this time, I really mean them. It's true! Don't you doubters start telling Mav to pull up, yo! I will not pull up! IF YOU BELIEVE IN NOTHING, other than the divine word of the drug-busting dyslexia-curing master of spirituality, BELIEVE IN THIS. In fact, I couldn't come up with more effusive things to say about this woman if I were reading a script I wrote one night while hopped up on some L. Ron-shaped vitamins!

"She is perfect. She is divine. We'll change it all, of course -- her religion, her teeth, her gingham, her birth certificate, her eyebrows. (It'll be easy. I have a great Scientology-approved orthodontist -- instead of Novocain, he gives you cream cheese -- and I hear that junkie Brooke Shields has nothing to do, so maybe she can take care of the brows.) But this one is special -- this one can act without biting her lips. Yes, soon, this fantastic and unbelievable mystery of a healing love-munchkin will be MINE, all MINE, in the eyes of her parents and my publicist and L. Ron, and so when America adores her and wants to eat her up with a spoon, the people will have no choice but to think of me! And spooning me! And eating me up while they spoon me with their delicious, sinewy, masculine...

"Uh, I mean, I'm gping to marry her! I've got some Vitamin D in my diet, baby, and I am HOOKED on them phonics like you wouldn't believe! I am HAPPY and if you are a HATER and you don't want other people to experience joy, or you are just some stupid broad who thinks she's sad and doesn't know that B-12 is a better pick-me-up than Prozac, well, I don't effing care, because I LOVE THIS WOMAN with all my heart, FOREVER AND EVER. Until that pretty little Hermione Granger girl's movie comes out in November."

recruiting little girls? TOUCHING THEM???? Not if we can help it.

Read Article Here

Method To Cruise’s Madness?
From the looks of it, Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise’s televised crackup is actually helping the Church of Scientology’s recruitment efforts. Since he declared his eternal love for Katie "I'm as virginial as Britney Spears was when she was feigning innocence" Holmes in early May, visits to the Church’s official website have shot up 263 percent to a peak of 375,000 visitors per day last week, according to site traffic tracker alexa. A lot of those visitors must have come through Google, which listed “Scientology” as the 10th-fastest-gaining query for the week of June 27. While most were just rubber-necking, surely some will buy the sales pitch.

Those looking to learn more about what makes Tom tick have also been heading to the bookstore. According to Barnes & Noble rep Mary Keating, “Sales of Dianetics in the last month have more than doubled. It took off in 1985 and has been a huge best-seller for about five years,” she said. “It’s a title we stock in all our stores at all times and we anticipate a strong year.”

John Carmichael, a spokesperson for the Church, downplayed Cruise’s influence, claiming “The popularity and uptrend was already there. Scientology is the largest-growing religion in the world,” he said. (Hear that, Mormonism?) “All I can say is the people are here because of their huge interest in the church. Scientology has always been very, very popular.”

In several published reports, the 55-year-old church claims to have 5 million members in the U.S. and 8 million worldwide. But critics say the total membership is actually closer to 80,000. Does the official head count include past lives?

Whatever the case, consider that people also thought Francis of Assisi was crazy, and now there’s a bustling gay metropolis named after him. Cross your fingers, Tom!

I'll bet you were, Tom. I'll bet you were.

Read Article Here

Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise and Steven Spielberg were stunned by the attitude of Dakota Fanning on the set of new sci-fi epic War Of The Worlds,

we mock you pervy man! put the girl down!!!!!

Read Article Here

Psychology suffered a crushing blow yesterday as Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise announced he did not believe in it. Psychologists and psychiatrists across the world shrugged their shoulders, admitted defeat and packed their couches and salivating dogs away.

Jerome Dane from the University of Slough was particularly distraught, "I had hoped this day would never come, but you've got to accept it when you're rumbled," said a sobbing Dane. "I knew I couldn't go on once he'd exposed us. What power do we have compared to the mighty Tom "Icky Creepy Drooly Old Man" Cruise? He knows so much."

So what does the future hold for these out of work psychologists? Dane told us, "My problem is that all I know how to do is fabricate experiments and lectures. Perhaps I'll just go ahead with my first love of creative writing and do the novel I've been thinking about."

A psychiatrist who refused to be named told us that Cruise was probably smarting from the incident last week when he was squirted in the face by a water-filled microphone for a TV comedy show. After that kind of humiliation, the discredited psychiatrist explained, it's not surprising that he lashed out at the social sciences - but it may not end there.

Unconfirmed reports are coming in that Robert De Niro has indicated he is little sceptical about parts of radiochemistry while Paris Hilton thinks that physics might just be 'all made up'.




Thursday, July 07, 2005


This website is based on opinion. Nothing is offered as a true statement. All articles linked are offered merely as links. We cannot validate articles offsite, and will not validate anything we write here as "true." These are all opinions, and are not meant to be taken at face value.


Out of respect for what has happened in London, there will be no ranting about the perverse nature of Tom Cruise.

Go out and donate blood, please. There are more important people to save than Ms. Fanning today.

We will return to saving her tomorrow. I hope everyone is safe.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

reliving oprah, with his new girlfriend:

I AM IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!

a child on each arm


look how hard he's squeezing her fingers.

child bride? not if we can help it


haven't we seen him use that same, domineering grip on miss holmes?

dakota, will you marry me?