Another Fake News Story

)Read Article Here)

So, apparently, Cruise isn't giving another a lecture on the evils of psychiatry.

"It's totally phoney. Tom is not giving any lectures... In my view, it's forgery, wire fraud and, apparently, committed on an interstate basis.


Committed on an interstate basis?

It was a joke.

It's not like they're talking about how completely gay TC is, and how KatieKate is a paid beard.

Oh, everyone knows that anyway.

Slow news days, people.

I AM DOCTOR

(Read Article Here)

Continuing his vigorous advocacy for Scientology's solutions to mental health problems, Tom Cruise will deliver a series of four lectures on topics related to "The Modern Science of Mental Health" beginning next month. Co-sponsored by the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, the lectures will be held at Scientology's Celebrity Centre International in Los Angeles. All lectures will be free to the public. Due to limited seating at the Celebrity Centre, tickets will be available only to Scientology parishioners and selected members of the press, but the lectures will be simulcast on the web, and a live video feed will be available for broadcasters who wish to cover these highly informative presentations.

The first lecture, set for October 15, is titled "How Psychiatry Invented Schizophrenia, and What Scientologists Can Do About It".

The second lecture, tentatively scheduled for October 22, is on "Handling Sexual Dis-Orientation: Out of the Closet and Into the Auditing Room".

The topic of the third lecture, in early November, will be "Diagnosis and Treatment of So-Called Clinical Depression with the Hubbard Mark Super VII Quantum Electropsychometer".

The fourth lecture is "Neuroanatomical Changes Resulting from Chronic Methamphetamine Abuse: Can Narconon's Sauna and Niacin Treatment Program Help?"

Transcripts of each lecture will be made available after the broadcast.

Contact:
Betram Fields
Greenberg Glusker LLP
Phone: 310.553.3610
Fax: 310.553.0687
info@ggfirm.com

Tickets (press only):
Church of Scientology
Celebrity Centre International
Phone: 323.960.3100
ccinternational@earthlink.net

Do you think we here at SaveDakota, constitute as press?

I Guess That Means He Won't Take You Back

(Read Article -- Bottom of Page -- Here)

Katie Holmes keeps trying to phone her ex sweetie, Chris Klein, but he’s so annoyed by the calls that he’s changed his number, according to US Weekly.

(thank you anonymous)

Dear Tom: Kate Moss is too OLD for you

(Read Article Here)

How many Kates does he need?

Scientology has a message for Kate Moss: We can help.

Reps of the controversial religion are “reaching out” to the model, offering to help her beat her drug problem, says a well-placed source. Moss was recently dropped from a lucrative modeling contract when she was photographed snorting lines of coke.

“Scientology has become quite proactive in reaching out to people,” says the source. “Kate is a woman who needs help and Scientology feels that they can steer her in the right direction.”

Which Scientology freak is looking for a wife to boost exposure this month?

Britney: postpartum depression. Cruise and Kevin? Don't Care

(Read Article Here)

The funny thing is, they're intellectually compatable.

Maybe it IS his baby.

Glenn Close Loves Dakota

(Read Article Here)

"She's definitely an old soul. She's a precociously talented kid. She's not a diva. She's not one of these horrible monsters and hopefully she never will be", Close said.

"She seems to have level heads around her. She is very gifted and professional and not intimidated by the daunting aspect of all the technical stuff raging around you. She's one of those gifted people that come along every now and then", the actress added.

Considering her last major praise was Kurt Russell and Tom Cruise, this is a very good thing.

The studio that put out "Nine Lives"? Magnolia.

Iiiiiiiiiinteresting.

Spielberg Angry with Tom Cruise’s Antics

(Read Article Here)

Don’t look for Tom Cruise to star in another Steven Spielberg film.

Spielberg is reportedly angry over Cruise’s antics during what were supposed to be promotional appearances for the movie "War of the Worlds,” when the actor ranted against the widespread use of Ritalin to treat children with Attention Deficit Disorder.

The director and his wife Kate Capshaw have five children and "know some children for whom Ritalin does a lot of good,” a source told Richard Johnson, who writes the Page 6 column in the New York Post.

"They took exception to what Tom said about the drug.”

We're all angry.

Oh, no, wait, we're bored.

If they wanted to maintain media attention they should have staged more antics a bit further apart. Instead, they have run out of steam, and so we run out with them, sadly.

But, we're trying. Maybe he'll kidnap his children and wait for the mother ship.

It has to be addressed

So, Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney split up. I don't need a link for that.

But, let's look at rumors as to why they split up:
1. He was too controlling
2. He didn't want to have a baby
3. Gay.

Hmmmm.

Sound familiar?

Controling? Check.
No babies? Adopted. Sterile. No sex with women. Whatever the reason, check.
Gay. Check.

Hey, "Kate," and future Dakota, remember, if all else *cough*judgment*cough* fails, anullment is your FRIEND.

And also, if you really want to be asian, you can.

Go Nicole!

Pink Is The New Blog informs us that Nicole Kidman has been hiding out in Paris. Hmmm, the one city that hates his cultist ass. Good choice, honey. Next time, bring Dakota with you.

Bon Jovi Is A God

(Read Article Here)

Jon Bon Jovi has slammed Tom Cruise, saying the actor has "lost it". The rocker claims the heartthrob actor "courts celebrity for the sake of it" and thinks fiancée Katie Holmes is feeding off of his star status. The rocker told Britain's Daily Telegraph newspaper: "Some people just court celebrity for the sake of it. People like Tom Cruise. He was always a great actor, but I think the man's lost it. "You won't ever catch me jumping up and down on Oprah going on about how I love this woman. And then others start feeding off it. Suddenly Katie Holmes is on the cover of magazines."

Let's tally up support, shall we?

Anti-Tom/"Tom is a Nutjob":
Bon Jovi
National Coalition of Human Rights Activists
Rachel Bilson
Lauren Bacall
Brooke Shields
etc

Pro-Tom/Katie:
Charlotte Church
Jimmy Fallon

Hmmmmmmmm

Fanning Joins Girl Scouts

Read Article Here)

Hmmmm...Where is Tom Cruise supposed to be on Thursday? Hopefully out of town.

Cruise Declares New Millennium!

(Cruisenews is slow today, so we're making it up)

Rumors that the famous couple, Tom Cruise and Kate Holmes, are set to wed on Christmas Day are close, but not entirely accurate. Sources close to the couple have revealed plans for a near-midnight New Year's Eve wedding. "The couple will say mutual "I Do"s as the ball drops in NYC in the background. Whether they'll actually be in NYC, or just have a giant screen playing live behind them, I cannot reveal." But that does tell those of us who want to know, that an East Coast wedding is planned.

Perhaps in Ohio, as a way to win back the admiration of Tom's future in-laws, who are reportedly not happy with Kate's rejection of her Catholic upbringing. "All I can say is that with the love these two share, be prepared for declaration of a brand new millennium."

Guess Who's Back?

We here at SaveDakota have been on a mini vacation. But, we're back, so, let's play catch-up with the news, shall we?


-Charlotte Church is defending the bearded couple. Welsh Church once met the Hollywood hunk backstage on US TV's THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO and was bowled over by his sincerity. Meeting someone once does not mean he'd never lie about his sexuality or pay a woman to try to boost his career. If Church were friends with the couple, maybe I wouldn't be so cynical (okay, I would), but you met him once, okay? You're not an authority on the matter.

-A Christmas Wedding? The star couple, who got engaged in May after a whirlwind two-month romance, are reportedly planning to tie the knot on the special day because they both love the festive holiday so much. Well, clearly they don't love it for the whole BabyJesus thing, or they wouldn't be pulling people out of the worship to worship them instead. I wonder what Katie's Catholic family thinks of this.

-TomKate's first SO VERY IN LOVE MOVIE: Somewhere else TOM CRUISE and KATIE HOLMES may be starring in a remake of the Hong Kong action film "Naked Weapon". Go away.

-Katie Will Make Own Wedding Arrangments. Top Gun star Tom Cruise has revealed his fiancee Katie Holmes will do her own floral arrangements when they wed. Apparently, shedding blood before the wedding is a typical alien ritual.

Kate Cruise?

(Read Article Here)

Well, well, well. She's been talking about it for months. She lied about it years ago, swearing that she has always been Katie, and will always be Katie, because that's what her family calls her.

Well, she's demonstrating as of late that family is unimportant, as she ignores their concerns, discards their name, and sets a new Cruise-Wife standand (besides being an avid reader of Pre-Teen Vogue): Taking his last name.

In Touch reports that Katie Holmes plans to adopt her soon-to-be-husband's last name and become Kate Cruise both personally and professionally. And no, that's not a typo; she will in fact also go by Kate, and not Katie. Why? Because, as a source tells the magazine, "Tom calls her Kate, so he suggested she start going by that professionally."

As if the 16-year age gap wasn't creepy enough, I would like to remind you all that Cruise has effectively named his fiance Kate Cruise. He has named her. Gave her his last name, then went, "Aaaand everybody's going to call you Kate from now on because I like it and Xenu wished that it be so."

Hmm. Maybe this will lead to some sort of gender-inverted Oedipus situation, in which case I am all for it. Any move that ends in Tom Cruise hanging himself and Katie Holmes gouging her eyes out with his decorative pins is a step in the right direction, as far as I'm concerned. But hey, I'm a romantic.


One can only hope.

Another Round of WTF Keywords

Searches that have lead to our site in the last two days:

6 for dakota fanning
4 for books about dakota fanning
4 for dakota 20fanning
3 for dakota fanning naked
3 for tour with dakota fanning
2 for niki yan tom cruise
2 for write to dakota fanning
2 for dakota fanning drugs
1 for young asian girls
1 for hypnotized girls
1 for dakota fanning's crooked teeth
1 for don't want to get married
1 for journal dakota fanning
1 for nicole kidman tom cruise
1 for journals about dakota fanning

I'm more than mildly disturbed. Mr. Cruise: You should not be searching for such things!

More on the subject of rumors

So, Saturday night, we had a few people over for a BBQ. One of the people invited claimed to be an "insider" in the entertainment industry. Okay, she does make-up on porn sets. And maybe other sets.

She claimed to have the greatest insider knowlege about Tom Cruise.

Get this: He offered Holmes a FIVE MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT.

Wow. That is HUGE NEWS. That we have NEVER HEARD BEFORE. *GASP*

Really? Doubtful.

What's more likely? Katie Holmes is a fame whore with rose colored glasses who gets to make out with the man she's had a crush on her whole life, and likely is the submissive in her relationships, which would account for him leading her around with the death grip. And Tom Cruise a manipulative rich man trying to keep himself off the b-list.

Makes far more sense.

Our Favorite Rumors of the Week

Rumor #1: An old friend of Tom Cruise has revealed that the Hollywood star used to lead cruel attacks on mice and birds and reward his gang with cigarettes.

Rumor #2: Hollywood star Tom Cruise was almost put behind bars, after the police caught him for running naked on one of the main streets of Kentucky, during his early childhood years.


Was he running around naked for his friends before or after he dressed up like a woman for them?

He still plays doctor

(Read Article Here)

"I am shocked to realize a site such as WebMD would recognize Tom Cruise qualified to make medical judgments. If I or anyone else without his fame wrote in and said I did not believe in psychiatry and called antidepressants and other psychiatric drugs 'very dangerous' ... my opinion would be considered invalid."

Translation? Everyone knows Tom is Cruisazy. Pointing it out it just giving him attention.

Save Not Dakota, But People Affected By Katrina

The Oxygen Network's relief effort: click on the link below, fill out your name, age, and location, and they donate a dollar to NOLA children's hospital, where kids have been hurricane-evacuated. then you tell your friends and they do it and more dollars get donated.

Click Here

It's a way to help without pulling out your credit card or getting off your butt. Easy.

In Your FACE, Pretty Boy.

Cruise’s former publicist Pat Kingsley has quietly agreed to represent Shields, in what many insiders are interpreting as a not-too-subtle slap at her estranged client.

"Those two dots don’t connect." Pfft. Riiiiiiiiiight. And TommyTom dreams of doing the backstroke in a sea of vagiiiiiiiiiina.

Kingsley, who reprsented Cruise for over a decade, was fired by the star last Spring after she urged him to limit his pro-Scientology sermonizing. Since then, says a PMK insider, “Pat’s been pretty upfront about her disdain for Cruise. This will drive him absolutely crazy.”

Um. Too late?

Pat, love, if you're going to be gathering disconnected dots in your non-fued with Psycho McNutterbuns, may I make a suggestion? Pass little Dakota your card. For onesies, she's a fucking CASH COW. She outacts all of her big-screen costars, she wears clothes that no one but a supah stah would be caught DEAD doffing, and she's got the attitude to make it big. Twosies? Not that it would matter, seeing how over the dumping you are, but it would SO piss off Ms. Dorothy Gale Mr. Tom Cruise.

I mean, not that it matters.
Because you're so clearly over it.

Why Tommy Won't Have Babies (Hint: It's Not Because He's Gay)

(Read Article Here)

What if Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a baby ... and Tom's the one who gets postpartum depression?

That's not just a fantasy for those outraged at Cruise's recent comments about the illness. It's entirely possible.

With Hollywood-perfect timing, on June 25 — one day after Cruise and NBC Today co-host Matt Lauer had their infamous on-air spat about post-birth depression, psychiatry and medication — the British medical journal The Lancet published the results of a groundbreaking study:

Fathers can develop depression after the birth of a baby and its arrival home.

I guess that's one excuse for his fear of vagina dentata. Even Tom knows there are some things vitamins won't cure.